How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

I woke up last night around 1:00 AM and was having a hard time processing all the events of the past seven weeks. We had left our radio on and it was tuned to the XMradio southern gospel station, ENLIGHTEN (don't tell anyone I was listening to southern gospel.) It "just so happened" that the song being aired at that time was an old song, HOW BEAUTIFUL HEAVEN MUST BE. It really ministered to my heart in a special way.

This morning when I was having my quiet time, I was reminded that today is the anniversary of our BeBe's (Jan's Aunt) graduation to heaven several years ago. BeBe loved our kids as if they were her own grandkids. She never had the joy of meeting Lindsay. But using my sanctified imagination, I have a sneaky suspicion that she was standing in line waiting to welcome Lindsay home!

Lindsay Bear, Pop-Pop misses you so much!

We read of a place that’s called heaven,

It’s made for the pure and the free;

These truths in God’s Word He hath given,

How beautiful heaven must be.

Refrain:

How beautiful heaven must be,

Sweet home of the happy and free;

Fair heaven of rest for the weary,
How beautiful heaven must be.

In heaven no drooping nor pining,

No wishing for elsewhere to be;

God’s light is forever there shining,

How beautiful heaven must be.

Pure waters of life there are flowing,

And all who will drink may be free;

Rare jewels of splendor are glowing,

How beautiful heaven must be.

The angels so sweetly are singing,

Up there by the beautiful sea;

Sweet chords from their gold harps are ringing,

How beautiful heaven must be.

Lindsay Bear slideshow

Here is a link to view the 25 minute slideshow that my brother Aaron whipped up for the service last night. It ran from 5:30 to 7:30, so if you were not there last night, or didn't come early.....here's the place to check it out.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8936589920461662266&hl=en

Wednesday Morning Update

Thank you for praying for Laura, Jon, and Tanner last night. The Lord gave strength, peace and comfort. The Memorial Service was a wonderful tribute to Lindsay's legacy, and most of all, the Lord received the glory!

A thrill for Laura and Jon was to have three of their nurses from Children's Boston Hospital present. (Left to right -- Auntie Moira (Meow), Lauren, Joanna). We are so thankful for the loving care that they provided not only to Lindsay, but also to Jon, Laura, Tanner, Warren & Phyllis, and Jan.

We also want to thank the many ladies from MOPS who have supported Laura and the family with cookies, goodies, and most all, lots of hugs. Laura is going to need you all now more than ever! Keep lovin' her.

Watch the blog for information as to when the DVD/CD of the memorial service will be available. We will also be posting the power point presentation that was prepared by Jon's brother, Aaron. Great job, Aaron!

Over 140 people were watching the simulcast last night. Thanks to Dover Baptist Church for providing this service as well as taking care of the e-giving, food, providing the facility for our use. Thanks, Pastor Ken and Cindy, for all you have done for our kids.

It was good to meet so many of our "blogger" family last night. God used Lindsay to create a special family that have rejoiced when we rejoiced and have wept with us as we have wepts. Your prayers and encouragement have been a huge blessing to us.

We will be keeping the blog open so that our family can post entries from time to time. I am checking on how you can receive email notification when a new entry is made on the blog.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for taking this journey with us. In closing, here is the poem that our daughter, Julie, read last night. The original poem was written by Jan's Mom who lost a little girl. The kids adapted the poem for Lindsay:

Lord, we gave our little girl to Thee

before she breathed a breath

But e’re she came into the world

she soon bowed her head in death

And though we know not why Lord,

we know it’s in your plan.

And someday in the glory,

we’ll know and understand.
For she belonged to you Lord,

right from the very start,

And when you took her from us,

it nearly broke our heart.

And Lord it wasn’t easy

as the tears flowed down our face

And yet we felt Thy Presence

and Thy overflowing GRACE.

The hours, as they dragged along,

seemed endless it is true,

And still in spite of all the pain

we knew you’d see us through.

We knew because You promised

and You’re faithful to Your Word

And lots of folks were praying

and we knew that You had heard.
How folks can live without YOU,

Lord, is a mystery,

They’ll trust in almost anything

instead of faith in THEE.

They’ll trust in their religion

or in anything man made

When all they need is Jesus

who died their soul to save.
So thank you Lord for courage,

for strength and grace from Thee

And help us keep on trusting

till someday HER face we see.

God bless you.

Tuesday Morning Update

Thank you again for the outpouring of love and support that have been shown to Laura, Jon and Tanner. Tonight is the memorial service for Lindsay Bear and I know that the kids will appreciate your prayers.

Thanks to the folks at Dover Baptist Church, you will be able to listen to the service tonight by visiting this website: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/lindsaybear The service will begin approximately at 7:30 PM.

We will try and put a link for the service on the blog for those of you that can't get hear it through the church link, and can send you a CD upon request.

I would also encourage you to listen to today's SONGTIME broadcast with Dr. John DeBrine. He gave us an opportunity to share some of the things we have learned through this experience:

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Songtime/archives.asp?bcd=5/20/2008

Keep your blogs coming! They are encouraging the kids and all of the family. We love you.

Sunday Update

We appreciate the outpouring of love, encouragement, and prayers that have been extended to the kids. Several folks have emailed to ask how you can minister to the kids. Here are several suggestions:

1. If you'd like to send a card to Laura, Jon and Tanner, here is their address.

1226 First Crown Point Road
Strafford, NH 03884

2. One of our friends suggested that people still buy bracelets ($5.00) as a reminder to pray for the kids. She said she turned her bracelet inside out and just have the pink side showing. For those of you that have gone through grief, you know that it is after the services and flowers are gone, that it is the hardest.

3. Send Tanner a card. I know that he is going to really miss Lindsay.

Later on today we will post directions to the church. I am also going to see if the church will record the service so that we can put the audio on the blog for those of you that would be interested.

I know that each night the kids are reading through the blog entries. Thank you for doing that.

Lindsay's Memorial Service

Thank you for your continued prayers for Laura, Jon and Tanner. God's grace IS sufficient and He is giving them His peace and comfort.

The service for Lindsay will be as follows:

Tuesday, May 2o, 2008 at Dover Baptist Church

5:30-7:30 PM -- Visitation for family and friends
7:30 PM -- Memorial Service
Interment will be private at a later date.

Dover Baptist is located at 151 Washington Street, Dover, New Hampshire
You can sign onto the church website for directions: doverbaptistchurch.org

In lieu of flowers, you can send Memorial Gifts to the Lindsay Groen Memorial Fund through Dover Baptist Church.

If you cannot attend the service, you can leave a message on the blog. The kids are reading every message.

She Has Fought A Good Fight and Has Won The Race

2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith ..."
At 1:00 PM, Lindsay "Bear" Groen closed her eyes on this side of heaven and opened them in the presence of Jesus. She now has a brand new heart -- one better than any Berlin Heart or transplant could ever give her.

The entire family had the opportunity to be with Laura, Jon and Tanner as she slipped into eternity.

We want to thank the hundreds of thousands of the new family that Lindsay brought together because of her time at Children's Hospital Boston. The outpouring of love, prayers, cards, gifts, and encouragement has been overwhelming.

We also want to thank the doctor's, nurses, and technicians, for the amazing care that they provided to Lindsay and our family. We are most grateful for their love and compassion even up until her very last breath.

Please watch the blog for details and where to direct any Memorial Gifts. I know that the kids would love to hear from you, so don't stop blogging.

Friday Morning

Lindsay did not have a good night. Her condition from what the nurses have said has turned in the wrong direction. Dr. Mayer was called in the middle of the night and the attending physician called to talk with Laura and Jon. There are blood pressure, breathing and output issues.

The big question now is the next step. My guess is that there will be much discussion as to whether or not they will be able to proceed with the surgery.

Year's ago, Jan's Mom wrote a daily devotional. Laura had the devotion opened to today's reading: GOD IS MY ROCK ... Mom Toms wrote: "God is my ROCK. Praise be to MY ROCK. He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. He is my mighty ROCK, my refuge. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, HE set my feet on a ROCK and gave me a firm foundation ... All these precious verses, and there are lots more, that tell me that my God is a sure foundation. My feet are standing on the Rock of my salvation not any longer on the mud and mire of my sin. He picked me up and set me firmly in HIM. Since my house is on a foundation of ROCK, it matters not what winds and waves blow on it, it WILL NOT FALL. I am secure, safe, protected, and above all, LOVED. Praise the Lord!"

Please pray that God's WILL will prevail today. Pray for Laura, Jon and Tanner as they face this new day of trusting Him for Lindsay's life.

Thursday Evening Update

Urgent Prayer Request

Dr. Mayer has scheduled surgery for 1:00 PM tomorrow afternoon pending no complications tonight and several equipment pieces that need to arrive by tomorrow. This will be open heart surgery and obviously has major risks.

Lindsay has been very stable throughout the day and has rested comfortably. Please pray for Heather as she cares for her tonight, and that nurse Auntie Moira will get a good night rest for tomorrow.

Please pray that Laura, Jon and Tanner will have a good night of rest as well as an infusion of Philippians 4:6-8 "peace" and Duet. 31:8 trust.

Laura just shared with me the passage that the Lord gave her today: John 4:46-54 "And there was a certain royal official whose son lay sick at Capernaum. 47 When this man heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and begged him to come and heal his son, who was close to death. 48 "Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders," Jesus told him, "you will never believe." 49 The royal official said, "Sir, come down before my child dies." 50 Jesus replied, "You may go. Your son will live." The man took Jesus at his word and departed. 51 While he was still on the way, his servants met him with the news that his boy was living. 52 When he inquired as to the time when his son got better, they said to him, "The fever left him yesterday at the seventh hour." 53 Then the father realized that this was the exact time at which Jesus had said to him, "Your son will live." So he and all his household believed. 54 This was the second miraculous sign that Jesus performed, having come from Judea to Galilee." By the way -- Laura looked at the foot note and the seventh hour is 1:00 PM!!!

Again we thank you for your prayers and for your partnership.

Like a river glorious, is God’s perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth, deeper all the way.
Refrain
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do.
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.

Mid-morning update

Thanks for praying and writing on the blog. The encouragement is needed and helpful.

The good news is that they had to insert a new pic line which resolved the bleeding issues in the left hand. The new line is in her right hand and went in very smoothly.

Moira was pleased that she urinated this morning. Her blood pressures seem to have come under control. The chest xray showed improvement as well.

The Berlin Heart and devices have arrived. That is a huge answer to prayer.
Right now the team has begun their assessments. Pray for wisdom.

Moira shared very openly with Laura that they are reaching a point with some of the meds where there is no further place to go. The medication to control the heart rhythms is at the max point. She shared that if Lindsay were not a Children's Hospital Boston, the medical profession would have probably recommended giving up. We are thankful that God has led us here.

The Lord has reminded me over and over again this morning that Lindsay's life is in HIS hands. While He is using the doctors and nurses as HIS instruments, ultimately Lindsay can't be in a better place. The God who created her in Laura's womb is the God who is giving her breath today.


Under His wings I am safely abiding,
Though the night deepens and tempests are wild,
Still I can trust Him; I know He will keep me,
He has redeemed me, and I am His child.

Refrain
Under His wings, under His wings,
Who from His love can sever?
Under His wings my soul shall abide,
Safely abide forever.

Under His wings, what a refuge in sorrow!
How the heart yearningly turns to His rest!
Often when earth has no balm for my healing,
There I find comfort, and there I am blessed.

Under His wings, oh, what precious enjoyment!
There will I hide till life’s trials are o’er;
Sheltered, protected, no evil can harm me,
Resting in Jesus, I’m safe evermore.

Thursday morning update

Good morning, prayer partners. Auntie Moira reported that Lindsay had a very hard night. She had some issues with heart rythmns and blood pressure that were a great concern. She is stable this morning, but Moira said, "It's time for the Berlin Heart!"

Today is a critical day in terms of the assessment of whether or not they will the procedure. We are asking our thousands of prayer partners, comprised of family and friends from all over the world, to join us in praying that God would allow us to move forward.

Please pray for peace for Laura and Jon today. I know that today is one of those days when your comments on the blog will be most appreciated.

Thanks for partnering with us at the throne of grace ...

Wednesday Night Update

Tomorrow will be a very important day as the transplant team will be meeting to assess if they are able to proceed with the Berlin Heart. Depending on the assessment, it could happen as early as Friday.

Tonight they are putting her on the larger ventilator to get the lungs functioning better.

Please pray that the Lord will flood Laura and Jon's heart and minds with peace tonight. I can't even begin to fathom how difficult the weight of the decisions must be for them. Please pray that we will be able to move forward with the Berlin heart.

Praise the Lord that Warren and Phyllis made it home safely and were able to get to the hospital tonight.

We thank the Lord often throughout the day for the thousands of people now around the globe who are praying along with us.

Please pray for Dr.'s Mayer, Emani, Brown, Lawson and Dr. John (not sure of his last name) and for the ECMO nurses as well as the nurses who provide care for Lindsay around the clock. We are glad that Auntie Moira (Meow) is on duty tomorrow and Friday.

Wednesday afternoon update

Dr Mayer was just in and updated us. Lindsay's lungs are a wee bit better and the infection is under control (not gone). He is still very concerned about the kidneys. She had her 2nd treatment of dialysis through the Ecmo circuit and handled it well. He explained the frustrations of not having an idea as to when the drivers for the Berlin heart will be available.

Her CVP numbers are now down, but need to come up a little. Pray that the people working on these problems will have guidance from the Lord so that the numbers will be right where they need to be.

Continue to pray for the lungs, infection, kidneys and drivers. Pray that the Lord will do what He wants for Lindsay in His time, not ours. He knows the tomorrows and when and what needs to be here. Continue to pray for clarity for Dr Mayer and all his team as they sort through what to do next.

Dr Mayer said that Lindsay was the longest child on Ecmo in this hospital. She is making medical history and perhaps helping other children in the future. God is awesome and we PRAISE HIM for He is good. Thanks for all your prayers. We love you all.

Wednesday Morning Update

Good morning. Lindsay had a peaceful night. Dr. Emani has asked us to specifically pray for her kidneys and that the Berlin VAD would arrive. The heart is here, but we need to have the two machines arrive. Thanks for your ongoing prayers.

Tuesday Evening

God blessed Laura, Jon and Tanner with a wonderful day for Lindsay. What a turn around since yesterday afternoon!

Her CVP numbers continued to improve. Her urine output was good. She was very responsive today with eyes open at times and hands and feet moving!!! At one point Jon walked away and she lifted up her hand.

They did dialysis for 16 minutes today which was a big asset to her kidneys. They will do it again tomorrow for 20 minutes. It is hooked up through Miss ECMO!

The bottom line is that her doctors and nurses were very pleased with her progress today. Praise the Lord for HIS goodness and for what HE is accomplishing in Lindsay's life. This is only traceable to HIS hand of blessing and healing of Lindsay's body.

It was good to have Brian, Donna, Jesslyn and Julia Bitler here today. They were a big encouragement to the kids. We also had the joy of seeing long-time family friend, Chuck Heidel, who served with us at Sandy Cove.

PS -- A special thanks to Lindsay's nurse Stacey, and the ECMO nurse, Melissa! They were a HUGE help to Lindsay. (For our Keswick family, Stacey looks like Kim Murawski and talks like Marilyn Jalinski!!!)

We appreciate your prayers! Pray for Grandpa (Warren) and Grama (Phyllis) Groen as they drive back tonight from Missouri.

Tuesday Afternoon Update

Lindsay is having a good day. Good output. Much more responsive with open eyes and moving her hands. She is taking some breaths on her own which is good.

Dr. Emani asked you to continue to pray about the infections, the lungs and kidneys, and for all those things to be functioning properly.

Dr. Emani also expressed his appreciation for the number of encouragement cards sent to him! Way to go.

It sounds like the hospital staff don't receive notes and cards. Would you add Heather and Moira (nurses) to your list? You can send their notes to Children's Hospital Boston -- CICU 8th Floor South.

Thanks for your encouragement! This is really cool!

Good morning from Children's Hospital Boston

Well Zach and I arrived at 3:00 AM and it is good to be here writing to you from Lindsay's room. So much has happened since we jumped in the car to head to Boston.

First of all, thank you for praying!!! God is at work, and we are excited this morning to see what this new day holds.

The CT Scan showed that everything neurologically is fine! Praise the Lord. Her CVP's have been stable, hovering around 9.

The Chief of Cardiology called Jon last night to tell him that Dr. Mayer was not in favor of doing surgery today, and wants to try and insert an additional cannula some time today.

The one doctor who popped in this morning said that while we don't know the plan for today, she is in a much better way this morning than she has been!!!

This morning devotional reading from DAILY LIGHT (just Scripture) was filled with messages of hope. I will not list all the references, but included the link ...

Pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath or doubting ... Then you shall cry, and He will say, "Here I am!" Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to Him must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder to them that diligently seek Him. Let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind ... He my cry, O God; attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is OVERWHELMED; lead me to the rock that is higher than I ... He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. When I am weak, then I am strong ... O you of little faith, why did you doubt? If you faint in the day of adveristy your strength is small. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. The eternal God IS your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Be strengthened will all might, according to HIS glorious power."
http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/devotions/daily.light/ -- Check it out!

Special Update

Well here is your prayer assignment for tonight. Surgery is tentatively scheduled for 1:00 PM tomorrow. HOWEVER -- The kids and Jan asked the Lord for a clear direction if God was up to something different.

The reason for the surgery is that Lindsay's CVP numbers have been very high. This is why they want to get in and relieve the pressures. However, the numbers have been dropping significantly tonight and if they get down from 11 to 3-5 ... no surgery!!!

Now I think you know how to pray???

I will keep you posted.

Monday afternoon Update

I am going to do my best to explain what is happening, if I missed something or got it out of sequence, I will get Jon to revise it.

My guess is that Lindsay's condition is a bit baffling to the medical team. There are issues with the kidneys, liver and lungs.

What they are suggesting is to do another open heart surgery in the next two days to remove the cannulas from the groin and reopen the chest so that they can further decompress her heart. While they are in there, they would clean out the chest and check for infection and any pockets of fluid, and possibly replace the mitral valve. All of this is very risky and they have no guarentee that she would survive the surgery (humanly speaking) because of all the risks. I am going to make an assumption based on the last surgery, that bleeding is another major risk with this surgery as well.

The Berlin Heart pump is there, but they need two drivers in place to make that happen. They do not come from Germany, but would need to be there in order to proceed with doing the Berlin Heart.

They are going to do a CT Scan to see if there is any concerns neurologically, and also another Echo cardiogram to see what is going on with her heart. I cannot imagine the tremendous weight on Jon and Laura's shoulders right now in making the decision to sign off on this surgery.

I think I can safely say for all of us that we are trusting the Lord for HIS plan and purpose for Lindsay's life. It doesn't take the hurt away. We don't necessarily understand why, but we can say "blessed be the name of the Lord." We know that whether by life or Lindsay's going home to be with Jesus with her NEW heart, He will be glorified.

Words cannot adquately express how proud the Groen's and Welte's are of Jon and Laura's courage and confidence in God through this trial. As family and friends, we stand with them now as they face a huge decision.

Let the kids know by writing on the blog that you are standing with them.

Monday Morning Update

Lindsay' sugar levels are still under control. She is still "peeing," and in answer to your prayers, the nurse happily reported that there was only one special "package!"

Please pray for the family meeting today which will be sometime this afternoon.

Thanks again for your prayers and blog comments. Keep praying and posting!