Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Tanner Moment And Looking Back

Yesterday afternoon Tanner and I headed out to Kohl's to find him some summer clothes. As I turned the van on I noticed that the low fuel light was on. I was a little scared to even head out because I wasn't sure how far we would get if we ran out of gas. I called Jon to get some reassurance that we wouldn't run out and he told me not to worry just go. So I got back in the van and said to Tanner well we better start praying and ask Jesus to some how help us get there without running out of gas. Tanner's response to me was," Don't worry Mom Lindsay already has it taken care of." I sort of chuckled and said what do you mean buddy. He then went on to say that Lindsay had already gone to Jesus and asked Him to help us get there. To hear him say this brought joy to my heart. So we headed out and I wasn't worried at all and just put my trust in Him. While we were driving we then started talking about what was happening this time last year with Lindsay. Then we talked about it being hot and that Lindsay was probably playing in a pool in heaven and having fun. I then told him how much I missed her and he shared how much he missed her to. My heart was sad for him but loving how we were sharing what we thought she was doing. Do you know that we made it to the gas station without any problems!!! I told Tanner when we got there that we needed to thank Jesus and Lindsay for helping us get there.

As I mentioned above today is the day that Lindsay had her bypass surgery. I remember being so scared but trusting that whatever the outcome was God was going to be with us. My sister Julie, Ethan and Brian Bitler surprised us all my showing up to be with us during surgery. I was so glad to have them there and especially glad to have Julie with us. We all were able to gather in bed space 9 around Lindsay and pray for her, Dr. Mayer, and all those that would be with her during surgery. We knew all of the risks going into it but we also knew that God was in control. It seemed like it took forever for them to be done. I can remember all of us being packed in the waiting room waiting and hoping for some good news. When Dr. Mayer walked in I could tell by the look in his face that he had news but not great news. She had lost a lot of blood but was in critical condition. He was afraid that she wouldn't make it through the night. They prepared Jon and I before we went back as to how she was going to look and to us she looked really good. By morning she was doing better and when Dr. Mayer came in that day he was in amazement that she was doing so good. But you know what that was just another one of Lindsay's mini miracles. I had prayed the whole time we were there that God would somehow heal her to the amazement of the doctor's and you know what she did. Even though his healing for her was in heaven he brought her through some tough times and kept them on there toes. For all those mini miracles we are grateful for and we cherish each and every one of them. As I have been sitting here writing this blog I can't help remember how Dad Welte had shared with us a song by the Gaither Vocal Band called Through. I think that we played this song after we had prayed over Lindsay. The words to this song are very powerful. I am going to add it here so you can listen to this song. You might want to grab a box of tissues before listening.

If you could say a pray today for my sister Julie today as she is having a hard time remembering last year being the last time she got to see Lindsay, I would greatly appreciate it and I know she would to. I also know that Garrett needs some prayer to as he struggles that he didn't come with Julie to see her. Julie and I have become even closer as sisters through all of this. We have cried many times over the phone, laughed, encouraged each other, and lifted one another up in prayer. Her daughter Emma and I have developed a special bond lately that has helped me through some hard days. Emma and Lindsay are the same age and were best friends. I miss seeing them play together when we go and visit. But Emma has showed all of us that she hasn't forgotten Ce~Ce (this is what she calls Lindsay). Julie, Jon and I love you very much and we pray that God will fill you with peace that only he can give. Garrett, We love you very much and I pray that you will always remember the happy times you had with Lindsay. May God fill you with peace when ever your heart is heavy and may he wrap his arms around you and give you comfort.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Please Pray For The Freeman Family

I have just recently come across this family and there special little girl named Kayleigh. They are in need of our prayers as Kayleigh is not doing very well. When she was born she only weighed 1 pound 1 ounce. She is one of the smallest babies to have open heart surgery. They have just learned that she has some major brain damage and may not recover at all. Please pray along with us for this family as they make those hard decisions that none of us ever want to make. God is the only one who can heal her here on earth or heal her in heaven. I will add her link to the right but also here in this post.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Walk- A- Thon For Children's Hospital Boston

Jon, Tanner, and I on June 14, 2009 will be participating in a walk-a-thon in memory of Lindsay and to help raise money for the hospital. Team Lindsay Bear has been started and so far we have 15 people on our team. We are so excited about this special day because it is also Lindsay's birthday. We couldn't think of a better way to celebrate her birthday by walking in her memory and giving back to the hospital. We are in need of some sponsors to help us raise money for the hospital. Each team member has to raise at least $150. We can raise more than that but this is what they would like you to raise. Praise the Lord as of yesterday morning I have met that goal. Jon has raised some money as well but isn't at the 150 mark yet as well as other members on our team. If you would like to sponsor us we would greatly appreciate anything you can give. I will add a link at the end of this post. The hospital has made it very easy for you to give right online. If you don't want to give online you can send a check to whoever you are sponsoring and make it out to Children's Hospital Boston and mail it to the team member you are giving to.

We are so excited about this event and I am looking forward to seeing what God is going to do. We would also ask that you pray for this event and for each and every member of our team. We are also praying that Baby Groen will arrive before the walk. We are so thankful for each of them and their willingness to join us and help support the hospital. If anyone is interested in joining us in Boston and walking with us please let me know. You can either leave me a message here on the blog or email me at We would love to have more team members to join us.

Here is the link;
You will have to copy and paste the link for it to work. This should take you to our team page. If you scroll down you will see team members names as well as what each person has raised so far. Then all you do is click on the person you want to sponsor. If you have any questions please email me.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

11 Months

Here we are once again at 11 months with out Lindsay. One month closer to the anniversary of her living with Jesus. As I look back on the things that we were going through a year ago to where we are now I am amazed at the peace and comfort that we have. God has been with us every step of the way and holding us in His arms. Yesterday was as you know the 15Th which is a day that will be forever in my mind. As you may remember that was the day that Lindsay went into cardiac arrest in my arms. I actually made it through the day only thinking about happy times with her and not going back and reliving every second of that day. I was able to share openly with Joy and Jodi at MOPS yesterday. When I was on my way home I got to thinking that we can sit and think back at all those hard times and dwell on them but nothing is going to change what the out come was. So why not just remember all the fun times, her smiles, laugh, hugs, and be thankful for all those times that God has given to us. We were at Joshua Harris church on Sunday and I went back and was reading my notes from his message. These are some points that I wrote down from his message that seem to be fitting for what we are going through: 1. God uses death and sufferings for His glory's. 2. In the face of death Jesus offers himself as the ultimate hope. One of the verses that I wrote down to look up later was John 11:25-26 which says; I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will LIVE, even though he dies;and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this? I know for sure that I believe this. I know for me Easter was a hard day but also a day to rejoice. While I was in church singing I kept getting goose bumps thinking that Lindsay got to have the greatest Easter ever. One day we will get to see her again because Jesus died on the cross for you and for me. If you are reading this and don't know Jesus and all that he has done for you and for me, I encourage you to email me or talk with someone. Please don't let another day go by with out giving your life over to him.

We also want to let all of you know that we were not able to deliver the baskets on the 14Th. We had to reschedule for May 6. We are looking forward to getting them there and blessing another family. We will be sure and take lots of pictures and update when we get back. Please continue to pray for all the heart babies and there families.

Baby Groen is also doing well. He or she is very active and moves around all the time. This is one of my favorite parts of being pregnant. I am going back to the doctor every two weeks now. We are hoping and praying that baby will come before June 14 so we can attend the walk in Boston. Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery. If you could also be praying for Jon who has been sick these past few days. He seems to be getting better but slowly. I know that he would greatly appreciate your prayers.

We again can't Thank You all enough for all your love, prayers, and support you have shown to our entire family. We love you all!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Resurrection Day!

Happy Resurrection Day!

Good morning to all of our friends and family. I checked the blog several times this morning to see if Laura had written. I did not want to write if she had already done so.
We want to thank all of our family and thousands of friends who have stood by Laura, Jon and Tanner since last April. The support, encouragement, love and prayers has been so overwhelming and humbling. As of this morning, Lindsay's blog was over 66,500.

The month of April and May are going to be very difficult for the kids as they relive through the challenges of last year with Lindsay's surgeries and homegoing. I know that they will appreciate your prayers and notes of encouragement.
I want to express my thanks for the folks at Dover Baptist Church and the MOPS group who have so faithfully stood by the kids. You have been a tremendous blessing to our family.
Today Lindsay is celebrating Easter with Jesus. We miss her so much, but she is with her Savior and enjoying the greatest Easter ever. I could not help but think of the words to this song this morning:
God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!


Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!

Because He lives,

I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to vict'ry,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,Just because He lives!

Praise the Lord -- He is risen!
With much love,
Bill and Jan Welte and Warren and Phyllis Groen

Monday, April 6, 2009

Looking Back

Well today is another anniversary date for us to remember. This time last year Jon and I were in the emergency room waiting to find out if our baby was o.k. Little did we know that God had already taken this little one home to heaven with him. I was 10 weeks and the baby was only 7 weeks. I can remember sitting there speechless when the doctor told us the news. I was kind of processing it in my mind before he came in and knowing that now my focus was to be on Lindsay and what she was about to go through. Our hearts were sad but I couldn't wait to go and pick up the kids and just hug them especially Lindsay. After we picked them up we headed to our hotel in Boston to settle in for the night. Dad, Mom, Zach came to our room that night to spend some time with us. I was so tired by then that my Mom had to give Lindsay her bath with that surgical soap we were given. Poor Lindsay cried the whole time because it was rough. Granny did a great job of getting it done fast and then Lindsay was happy again. After they left we settled in for the night and dreading what was to come in the morning. Jon and I had to get up with Lindsay several times to change diapers that were runny. When I think back to this time my heart just aches. But we can't change what God had already planned. We can look back at those special times we had with her and rejoice that God gave us those moments.
I wasn't going to write today but this afternoon I felt I needed to. I think I will post again tomorrow if I can.
Just think that Lindsay got to meet her 2 siblings in heaven before we did. I know that she is taking care of them like a big sister would.

Friday, April 3, 2009

One Year Ago Today

A year ago today Jon, Tanner, Lindsay, Mom Groen, and I were all in Boston going through Lindsay's pre-op surgery tests. I can remember that day so clear and how long of a day it was. This was also a day where Tanner met and played with another little boy named Neil. Those boys played great together and it seem to pass the time faster for Tanner. When I look back today I know that we wouldn't have thought that we wouldn't have her here with us now. But God knew even on that day while doing all those tests and running here and there that she would live with Him. I can remember coming home and dreading what Monday morning was going to bring. Then on Saturday I was sick all day and spent most of the day in bed. Then to get up Sunday morning before heading to Boston and realizing that we could be losing the baby that was growing inside. So much happened in those two days but through everything God was with us. I read something in my devotions this morning that really made me think and rejoice. This is what I read " Knowing that heaven is our real home makes it easier to pass through the tough times here on earth. Also knowing that when we get there Lindsay will be waiting for us with open arms. That makes me happy to think about because I miss her so much. I had a dream last night that she was here and that all I was doing was taking care of her. It was time to put her to bed and she was settling in like a big girl and asked me to make sure her music was on. In the dream she seemed to be bigger but all I know is that I was so happy to be with her and taking care of her again. I woke up for a minute ready to jump up and run to get her out of bed. But then I realized that it was a dream but I was happy to see her again. Maybe God let me have this dream to comfort me during these hard times.
I have thought about going back on the blog and reading what took place last year but I don't think I can right now. Julie told me this morning she did and that she had a hard time. But I encourage anyone who would like to go back and read to go ahead.

I wanted to also let you know that Jon, Tanner and I will hopefully be going to be delivering the baskets on April 14. We have everything set up with the social worker on 8 south and we are really looking forward to going. We have emailed a few of the doctors and nurses that took care of Lindsay to let them know that we are coming. We have already heard back from a few of them and they will be there on that day. I also wanted to share another thing I read in my devotions today that sort of goes along with delivering the baskets. The title of it was Joy is an action word. The scripture was John 16:24 which says "Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
It went on to say this; If we want to experience true joy, the spirit of joy that God meant for us to have, we have to do something. We have to be willing to step outside ourselves and reach out to others. It's true we can't do everything, but we can pick one cause, one charity, one family, one friend, one something that will become the object of our help and our kindness. What one thing are you willing to do? Ask God to guide you to where He most wants you to share your joy. At the end it says this; Helping others does make me feel good, Lord. Deepen my desire to reach out in a new direction to offer Your joy to others. WOW!!! Isn't that amazing to read and knowing that in a few weeks we will be helping others. Thanks Lord for giving this to me today.
May each of you who read this at some point share something with someone else and share the joy that you have in Jesus!!!