Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Tanner Moment And Looking Back

Yesterday afternoon Tanner and I headed out to Kohl's to find him some summer clothes. As I turned the van on I noticed that the low fuel light was on. I was a little scared to even head out because I wasn't sure how far we would get if we ran out of gas. I called Jon to get some reassurance that we wouldn't run out and he told me not to worry just go. So I got back in the van and said to Tanner well we better start praying and ask Jesus to some how help us get there without running out of gas. Tanner's response to me was," Don't worry Mom Lindsay already has it taken care of." I sort of chuckled and said what do you mean buddy. He then went on to say that Lindsay had already gone to Jesus and asked Him to help us get there. To hear him say this brought joy to my heart. So we headed out and I wasn't worried at all and just put my trust in Him. While we were driving we then started talking about what was happening this time last year with Lindsay. Then we talked about it being hot and that Lindsay was probably playing in a pool in heaven and having fun. I then told him how much I missed her and he shared how much he missed her to. My heart was sad for him but loving how we were sharing what we thought she was doing. Do you know that we made it to the gas station without any problems!!! I told Tanner when we got there that we needed to thank Jesus and Lindsay for helping us get there.

As I mentioned above today is the day that Lindsay had her bypass surgery. I remember being so scared but trusting that whatever the outcome was God was going to be with us. My sister Julie, Ethan and Brian Bitler surprised us all my showing up to be with us during surgery. I was so glad to have them there and especially glad to have Julie with us. We all were able to gather in bed space 9 around Lindsay and pray for her, Dr. Mayer, and all those that would be with her during surgery. We knew all of the risks going into it but we also knew that God was in control. It seemed like it took forever for them to be done. I can remember all of us being packed in the waiting room waiting and hoping for some good news. When Dr. Mayer walked in I could tell by the look in his face that he had news but not great news. She had lost a lot of blood but was in critical condition. He was afraid that she wouldn't make it through the night. They prepared Jon and I before we went back as to how she was going to look and to us she looked really good. By morning she was doing better and when Dr. Mayer came in that day he was in amazement that she was doing so good. But you know what that was just another one of Lindsay's mini miracles. I had prayed the whole time we were there that God would somehow heal her to the amazement of the doctor's and you know what she did. Even though his healing for her was in heaven he brought her through some tough times and kept them on there toes. For all those mini miracles we are grateful for and we cherish each and every one of them. As I have been sitting here writing this blog I can't help remember how Dad Welte had shared with us a song by the Gaither Vocal Band called Through. I think that we played this song after we had prayed over Lindsay. The words to this song are very powerful. I am going to add it here so you can listen to this song. You might want to grab a box of tissues before listening.

If you could say a pray today for my sister Julie today as she is having a hard time remembering last year being the last time she got to see Lindsay, I would greatly appreciate it and I know she would to. I also know that Garrett needs some prayer to as he struggles that he didn't come with Julie to see her. Julie and I have become even closer as sisters through all of this. We have cried many times over the phone, laughed, encouraged each other, and lifted one another up in prayer. Her daughter Emma and I have developed a special bond lately that has helped me through some hard days. Emma and Lindsay are the same age and were best friends. I miss seeing them play together when we go and visit. But Emma has showed all of us that she hasn't forgotten Ce~Ce (this is what she calls Lindsay). Julie, Jon and I love you very much and we pray that God will fill you with peace that only he can give. Garrett, We love you very much and I pray that you will always remember the happy times you had with Lindsay. May God fill you with peace when ever your heart is heavy and may he wrap his arms around you and give you comfort.