Sorry It's Been So Long

It has been a long time since I have written. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update. We have been really busy lately. Jon has been trucking for his Uncle Keith for a month now and the boys and I have been hanging out at home as well as in NJ. We miss when he is not around and we do get to see him often. The truck that he has been driving is the same truck that he drove Lindsay's last summer. We have lots of fun memories in the truck when we went along with Jon.

The boys are doing well and growing up way to fast. They keep me pretty busy all day. They are growing closer together as brother's which is awesome to watch. We are looking forward to our newest addition coming sometime in December. Jon and I are hoping for a little girl but Tanner wants another brother. We will see who is right when the time comes. Baby Groen is right on schedule and is getting more and more active. We did have a fetal echo done a few weeks ago and the babies heart is perfect. We thank the Lord for that everyday.

Lindsay is still never to far from our minds. We think of her often and talk about her a lot. We have seen lots of Lindsay butterflies this summer which always brings a smile to our faces. It is fun to see Tanner get so excited when he sees one. We have been spending time in NJ and have been playing lots with Emma and Ethan. I have enjoyed watching them get excited as well when they see a Lindsay butterfly. Emma talks about Ce~Ce a lot and often asks Julie if she can go and play with her. I am sure that if Lindsay were still here that Emma and her would be best friends and so much fun to watch. I feel so bad sometimes when I see her and wish so much that Lindsay was around to play with her. Sometimes I feel it's so unfair that she had to leave us so soon. And why her, even though I wouldn't want anyone to go through this. But I know that God has a reason and one day we will find out that reason when we are with him. Until then we need to keep her memory alive and continue to share her story with others.

We hope you will still continue to keep up with the blog. I am going to try much harder to keep it updated. We love you all very much and thank you for your continued prayers for our family.

Because Of The Cross

Today at 1:00 p.m. marks Lindsay's 2 year anniversary in Heaven. How can 2 years have passed already when some days it feels like it was just yesterday. Some days I still think I am in this huge dream and I am going to wake up and everything will be the same. I do remember one dream I had the night before Lindsay went home. It was just after the doctors had called to tell us that something had happened in her belly. I remembering trying to fall back to sleep but so much was going through my head. I guess I finally did fall asleep, but my Pop-Pop Welte came to me in my dream and told me that Lindsay was going to be o.k. and that he was going to take care of her. You see my Pop-Pop has been in heaven for years. I remember waking up trying to shake it off and thinking I was crazy. But I really wasn't because he was right and he as well as my Mema, Nanny, Bebe, Grandpa and Grandma Groen, and Grandpa and Grandma Burgers are all in heaven with her taking care of her. I am comforted in knowing that she isn't alone and that she is fine and happy. Like my title says that's all because of the cross. Because of the cross and what Jesus did for you and me, we will be able to see Lindsay again. So on this 2 year angel anniversary I am thankful for what Christ did for me on the cross and the promises that he has made to me in knowing that one day we will all be with Lindsay in paradise. If you are reading this and don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior don't let the day go by without talking to some one. Lindsay's book is still being written and already through her life people have gotten saved.

I know have have said this on so many posts but I am going to say it again; THANK YOU. Thank you for the prayers, comments on the blog, encouragement, hugs, and just being there when we have needed you. I can't end this without saying a huge THANK YOU to all the doctors, nurses, ecmo nurses, on 8 south and 8 east. Because of them Lindsay had the best care we could have asked for. They sacrifice so much of there own lives to be in the hospital to take care of kids that really need them. We are thankful for each and every one of them who took care of Lindsay. Tanner and I still pray for them all every night at bed time as well as all the babies and kids on the 8th floor.

I am going to leave you with a picture video that I put together in memory of Lindsay's time in the hospital. Many have never seen some of these pictures and they may be hard to look at. But we cherish each one of them because they are the last pictures we have of her.

Lindsay Bear, Daddy, Mommy, Tanner, and Case miss you so much. We talk about you all the time and you will always be with us and in our hearts. We love you more than you know and we are proud of you in so many ways. Today after church we are going to have a picnic in the park and we will be thinking of you the whole day. We send you lots of hugs and kisses towards heaven today.

From Movies

I apologize for not keeping this updated as often as I wanted to. Life has been very crazy here at our house. I was really sick for a few days and thankfully I am way better now. Plus add to that chasing after the kids and all the other activities that we are involved in. This is the start of a whole new month as well as the start to the month of remembering where we were two years ago. Some of them I just want to forget about and pretend none of them ever happened and that I am going to wake up soon and she will be here. But that's not going to happen and so we continue to hold on to Jesus. He has brought us this far in this journey I know he will continue to carry us until we are reunited with her again. Oh, what a day that will be. I just added this song this morning called, Sing To Jesus. One of the verses in the song says this; Come you weary and he will give you rest, Come you who mourn, lay on his breast, Christ who died risen in Paradise, Giver of mercy, Giver of life. I love to think that when we are sad that we can just lay on his breast and he will comfort us. He gave Lindsay the life she had here on earth and now he has given her a life with no more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, and her heart is whole. As much as I want her here with us so bad, I wouldn't want her here if she was suffering and hurting. Lindsay, We miss you so much and we love you more than you know.

The walk is coming up very soon and we are so excited to get to go this year. We still need to raise as much money as we can. If you would like to help here are the links to our walk pages;

https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/pfp.asp?ID=GL0040 ~ Laura

https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=gj0106 ~ Jon

https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=gt0025 ~ Tanner

On May 19, 2010 we will be putting the Lindsay Bear Baskets together at our MOPS group. I am so excited to get them put together and delivered. Last week I did some inventory of all the stuff we have. We have 91 bears and 44 baskets. We are still in need of a few things to put them together. We need; Life is good socks, note cards, gift cards (Starbucks, McDonalds, Subway, CVS). I will be sure and update when we are done and add some pictures for you.

A few prayer requests before I end this post. Please be praying for my brothers wife Jenny who will soon give birth to there 2nd baby. She is being watched very closely during this pregnancy. My Aunt Jeanne will be having her surgery on May 17. Pray for peace for her, my Uncle Mark and my cousins Jeff and Megan. My sister Julie is also expecting in November and my sister in law Alyssa. Alyssa is Jon's brother Aaron's wife. Lots of babies coming this year.

We thank you for continuing to follow Lindsay's blog and for praying for us. We love you all.

2 Years Ago

For some of you this picture may be hard to look at but I thought it was good to show. You may find over the next several weeks that I will post pictures of Lindsay's time in the hospital. I didn't at first want to take any pictures of her like this but now I am glad I did. I know they are hard to look at but these are the last pictures we have of her and we cherish everyone of them.

Yesterday marked 2 years ago that Lindsay had her open heart surgery as well as 2 years ago that we lost another baby to a miscarriage. Yesterday was hard for me and I found myself just missing her and wanting to hold her. I thought a lot about the things that happened 2 years ago the waiting during surgery, waiting to see her, not being prepared to see what she looked like, finally seeing her and hearing and seeing her wanting me to hold her. In fact when we came in the room she raised her hands at me and wanted upies (which we means pick me up) and was saying juice. My heart broke that I couldn't pick her up and run out of there and bring her home so she wouldn't have to go through that. But we did what we felt was best for her and we knew that God was going to bring us through all of it. He brought his through so much, some of it good and some not so good. But God never left us and he stood by us even 2 years later. Even sitting here updating this I am having trouble finding what to write. So many thoughts, so many memories, so much I wish I could say. I am so glad we have a God who loves us so much and gives us so many promises and so many things to look forward to when we get to heaven. I am going to try and update more in the next few weeks as best I can. So check back when you can.

We still can't thank all of the doctor's and nurse's on 8 south and 8 east who took care of Lindsay. We are so thankful for there hard work that they do everyday for kids of all ages.

We have recently found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant!!!!! We are very excited and also a little nervous. As my pregnancies have gone this is the time when I would miscarry. So please pray for the little one growing inside.

Missing Our Bear

The other day I was really missing Lindsay. It all started when I changed my back round picture on our lap top. It is the picture I have at the top of this blog. I was remembering that day at my cousin Jeff's house. We were at our annual Palm Saturday get together with my side of the family. The kids had so much fun playing together and it was fun watching them. Little did any of us know that this was the last time they were all together. I can remembering leaving and everyone saying goodbye and how they would be praying and that Lindsay would be o.k. I truly believed that she would be and that this would have been a quick simple fix and that life would go back to normal. But it didn't and God wanted her in heaven more. As I was looking at the picture I couldn't get over how cute and beautiful she was. So I went upstairs and looked in the bin of clothes to find that out fit. Once I found it I put it on the bear and that's when it hit. Why do I have to dress the bear? I want to dress her, hold her, hear her giggle, see her smile, hear her say Mommy, Daddy, and I could go on. I thought I had my emotions under control and then my sister Julie called at just the right time. I answered but then couldn't speak and she knew something was bothering me. She then told Emma that Aunt Ra~Ra was sad and crying. I could hear Emma get worried and ask why was I crying. Julie told her it was because I was missing Ce~Ce (that's what Emma calls her ), she then said It o.k. Aunt Ra~Ra she will be over in a few days. Well that melted my heart and made me happy again. I guess what I am trying to say is that we still miss her so much. Some days it comes harder than others but we can rejoice that one day we will see her again.

Next month begins 2 years of this journey we are on. I hope to try and blog more and share more of my thoughts. As we look back and reflect on everything that happened we will remember the happy times, the many mini miracles she accomplished, and the many lives that she touched. I know I have said this before but if any of you want to share with us how Lindsay changed your life please do so.

As I close this, tomorrow morning we will be headed to NJ and then to MD on Saturday for our annual Palm Saturday get together. We didn't get together last year so this year will be a little hard. But I know we will be able to get through it because we will be with our family.

Thank you for all your continued prayers for our family. I will be updating Tanner and Case's blog soon on how they are doing.

Walk, Lindsay Bear Baskets, Update On Aunt Jeanne

Jon, Tanner, Case and I as well as 20 other family and friends are once again walking in memory of Lindsay on June 13, 2010 for NSTAR'S walk for Children's Hosptial Boston. As most of you know we were hoping to do this last year but Case decided to come into the world the day before. The rest of the team went and walked but Jon and I stayed behind and got to know Case. So this year we will be there and we are so excited about it. In order for us to do this we need to raise some money. If you are interested in sponsoring one of us here is the links to our pages. Tanner gets to raise money this year and he is very excited about it.

Jon ~ https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=gj0106

Tanner~ http://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=gt0025

Laura~ http://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=gl0040

We are once again starting to collect things for the Lindsay Bear Baskets. My mom, mother in law, my sister, and I got some awesome deals on Valentine's bears for the baskets this past week. We have enough for this round and a start for the next round. If you are interested in helping again please email me at jonnlaura@hotmail.com. We will be putting them together sometime in May with my MOPS group.

My Aunt Jeanne is doing great. She was in the hospital with some blood clots in her leg and arms. They got them under control and she is back home and back to work. The biggest new this week is that her blood test results from the chemo are down to 47 from 937 :). They want them to be at 21 so she can have her surgery. We are all praising the Lord that the numbers are dropping. Please continue to pray for her. I know she appreciates all the prayers she can get.

Thanks again for your continued prayers for our family. Lindsay still lives in all of us and we love and miss her all the time. Case is starting to look like her more and more each day.

We love you all!!!

CHD Awareness Week

This week marks CHD week. CHD stands for Congenital Heart Defect. I thought some of you would be interested in some information about this and can some how raise more awareness for it.

~ CHDs are the #1 birth defect and the #1 cause of infant death related to birth defects. 1 in every 100 babies born will have a CHD (1 in every 800-1000 babies born has Down Syndrome).


~ 1 in 10 of those born with a CHD will have a fatal defect.


~ In the US there are nearly twice as many deaths due to CHDs than that of all forms of childhood cancers combined. Yet there is 5 times more research for pediatric cancer than for CHDs.


~ The cost of inpatient surgery alone for CHDs exceeds 2.2 billion dollars per year.


~ There are approximately 35 known Congenital Heart Defects.


~ Causes for CHDs are still being studied. While there is no known definitive cause, it is said that both genetics and environmental factors can play a role. Scientists have actually identified over 100 mutations that are directly linked to the heart.


~There is no known cure for CHDs. However, the mortality rate after surgery has significantly decreased in the past 20-30 years. On average it is about 5% compared to the 30% it was. At the same time, the rate of incidence of CHDs has remained unchanged.


~ With advances in medicine, many of those born with a CHD will have their first and sometimes only corrective surgery before age 2.


~ Many of those living with a CHD go on to lead normal to near normal lives. Those with complex CHDs will also go on to lead longer and more active lives than before. Most will have some physical limitations, but almost all learn to move pass them.


~ Only about 30% of the children who need a heart transplant receive one in time.


~ About 40,000 units of blood are used every day yet only about 5% of the adults, the only ones who are eligible to donate blood, do so. Someone needs blood every three seconds in the United States; that someone is often one of our heart children.


~ Education is the first step in helping these children live happier, healthier lives!






In honor of this week my very good friend Jessica Twigg who also lost her little boy Ethin is having a basketball game on February 16, 2010 in Newaygo, MI to raise awareness as well as funds to help with CHD research. She asked me to send her a picture of Lindsay as well as a paragraph about her and what her CHD's were. I have to tell you that was hard to do. Because it brought back so many memories and well as just the reality that this has happened and that she is no longer here with us. But I am glad I did it and that she will be remembered during that game. Each team member is playing either in honor of or in memory of a child with a CHD. I am so excited to see how this goes for Jessica and to see pictures. She had special shirts made up and the player will wear a shirt with Lindsay's name. We will then get the shirt sent to us. So look for another update on how it goes and pictures. I thank God for sending Jessica my way. I have been able to chat with her on face book as well as on the phone. I have seen her go through the highs and lows of grief. I hope that in some small way I have helped her during this difficult time in her and our lives. You can check on Ethin's blog here on the right hand side under heart family. Please continue to pray for her.
Thanks Jessica for allowing us to have Lindsay remembered in this game. I know that Ethin and Lindsay are playing and having a great time together in heaven!

Update On Aunt Jeanne

Thank you all for praying for my Aunt. She had her first chemo treatment last week and did great. She has gone back to work for now. I have added her care page on the right hand side under family and friends. Please check there for more updates. She has felt very blessed by all the prayers she has gotten so far.

I have also added some pictures for you to look through from Christmas. I have another one to add later.

12-24-09

Please Pray For My Aunt Jeanne

Our family needs your prayers again. We just found out last night that my Aunt Jeanne has Stage IV ovarian cancer. She is my mom's baby sister. My Aunt is very special to me and I love her very much. We know that God is in control of this whole thing and we are going to trust him that she is going to be ok. Please pray for my Uncle Mark and my cousin's Jeff and Megan. She will be meeting with a surgeon on Monday so I will know more then. So check back for more updates. She is not in any pain and she is healthy. We sometimes don't know why these trials come in our lives but we do know that God loves us and only gives us what we can handle. My Aunt said last night that one thing she learned from my Nanny was that even in the hard time we need to be thankful. I am thankful for my Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Mark. They have been big prayer warriors for us during Lindsay's time in the hospital. They came to visit her which was so special to Jon and I. So now it is our turn to be prayer warriors for her.

Aunt Jeanne,
I love you so very much. I am not going to stop praying for you. God is in control of everything that is happening. We pray for peace for you guys and that you will feel God's presence in every step of the way. We support you and we will be there for you when you need us. Thanks for being such a great Aunt to all of us. Our family has some of the greatest memories together that I will cherish for ever.
Uncle Marker( this is what the our kids call him), Jeff and Meg,
I love all so much to. I am praying for strength and for you as you stand with your Mom and support her in every decision that is made.