Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Battle Belongs To The Lord

I miss her more everyday.
I have to admit that lately I have had many battles. Some of them are silly little ones and some to me seem big. Most of them have to do with the kids. Some days I fear that one of them is going to leave me again or that something is going to happen to them. I have found myself lately being more over protected of them for the littlest things they are doing. Not wanting them to get hurt or doing things that could make them get hurt. When they are sick it's a whole new battle. I find myself in this weird kind of place where I think that something is majorly wrong with them. Right now I am going through this as Sydney is sick. I am pretty sure it's her teeth or the flu that has been going around but I seem to fear the worst. 
 I know a lot of this has to do with Lindsay and all we went through with her. I have spent lots of time crying out to God to help this to stop. Help me not to be this way. Turning over all my battles to him no matter how big or small they are. Some times even begging Him to just take it away or not make me miss something big. I know that He is in control of everything and that He isn't going to give us anything we can't handle. 
 Today in my devotions I read this; Sometimes the darkness in our lives is worse, because we cannot even see the web we are weaving or understand what possible good arising from our experience. Yet if we are faithful to forge ahead and "if we do not give up" (Gal 6:9), someday we will know the most exquisite work of our lives was done during those days when it was the darkest. If you seem to be living in deep darkness because God is working in strange and mysterious ways do not be afraid. Simply go forward in faith and in love, never doubting Him. He is watching and will bring goodness and beauty from all your pain and tears. ~ J.R> Miller

How true is all of this and what I needed to hear today. I can't give up on God just for these silly battles. I need to go forward in my faith and stop doubting what he can do. One of the other devotionals that I read is my Nanny's. Some times when I read nothing jumps out at me and sometimes they do. I know that when this happens this is exactly what God wants me to hear. And sometimes I feel that my Nanny does to. If you own one of these books please go and read the December 10 entry. It's a story about my Aunt Jeanne's leg. Yesterday was one of those days where I knew that God (and Nan) were talking to me. My Aunt had hurt her ankle when she was little and my grandmother was very worried about leaving her at the hospital and that they might have to do surgery. So while she was at home she walked the floors of her house all night long and prayed and looked in the word for comfort. Some of the verses the Lord gave her were Isaiah 66:13, Isaiah 43:19, Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 10:8, Romans 15:32. All these verses was exactly what she needed to hear while my Aunt was in the hospital. God DID everything he said he was going to do. She never needed surgery and she got to go home when my Nanny wanted her to. After I was done reading these verses tears were in my eyes because I knew that everything was going to be o.k. God does here my prayers and he does see my battles. I just need to put my total trust in Him ALL THE TIME.

I am sorry that I have not blogged in a while. Life has been very busy. After sitting here today and writing out my thoughts I feel better. This is a very healing thing to do and I just need to make a point to do it. 

Thank you for those who still pray for our family. We love each and everyone of you.