Monday, April 6, 2009

Looking Back

Well today is another anniversary date for us to remember. This time last year Jon and I were in the emergency room waiting to find out if our baby was o.k. Little did we know that God had already taken this little one home to heaven with him. I was 10 weeks and the baby was only 7 weeks. I can remember sitting there speechless when the doctor told us the news. I was kind of processing it in my mind before he came in and knowing that now my focus was to be on Lindsay and what she was about to go through. Our hearts were sad but I couldn't wait to go and pick up the kids and just hug them especially Lindsay. After we picked them up we headed to our hotel in Boston to settle in for the night. Dad, Mom, Zach came to our room that night to spend some time with us. I was so tired by then that my Mom had to give Lindsay her bath with that surgical soap we were given. Poor Lindsay cried the whole time because it was rough. Granny did a great job of getting it done fast and then Lindsay was happy again. After they left we settled in for the night and dreading what was to come in the morning. Jon and I had to get up with Lindsay several times to change diapers that were runny. When I think back to this time my heart just aches. But we can't change what God had already planned. We can look back at those special times we had with her and rejoice that God gave us those moments.
I wasn't going to write today but this afternoon I felt I needed to. I think I will post again tomorrow if I can.
Just think that Lindsay got to meet her 2 siblings in heaven before we did. I know that she is taking care of them like a big sister would.