Monday, March 16, 2009

10 Months

Wow we are only 2 months away from Lindsay being gone a year. This just hit me this past weekend while we were in Boston. Groen Buliders had their business meeting in Boston this weekend, so on Friday afternoon we packed up and headed to Boston on Am track. We were able to take Tanner with us this weekend. He was very excited about riding the train and taking the T around Boston. Lately when talking about going away this past weekend he was thinking that we were going to the hospital. So we wanted to show him that we can go to Boston and have fun and not go to the hospital. He had a great time and was able to swim and walk around Boston.
We decided to stay an extra night in Boston before heading home on Sunday. We ended up staying in the Hyatt right by the airport. You may not think that staying there is such a big deal. But until we got up to our room did it really hit Jon and I. This is the same hotel that we stayed in the night before Lindsay's surgery. The room was set up the exact same way and the memories just hit me hard. I could picture everything that happened that night. I really wasn't sure that I could even sleep in the room because it made me so sad. I just prayed and asked God to help me to get past it and only think of happy times with Lindsay.

We are not only coming up on a year of her passing away but next month on the 7Th will be a year since her first surgery. Thinking where we were last year to where we are now is not at all what we expected. No one could have prepared us for what was to come after surgery. But through this whole time God was with us and he never has left us. He has taught us to hold on to each other and most of all to hold on to Him. We have learned that you need to take one day at a time and to enjoy each day to the fullest. I miss her everyday and think about her all the time. But one day we will be able to see those blue eyes again and see her smile that melted your heart. Until then we will hold on to her memories and the happy life that she had with us. We would like you to keep us in pray during the next 3 months. April will be her surgery dates, May will be a year of her going home to Jesus, and then in June we await the arrival of Baby Groen. I have yet to clean out her crib and get ready for the baby. I know that in time this will need to be done but I don't feel that I am ready yet. Also to keep praying for Tanner. Lately discussions have come up about going to heaven and dying. I think as he is getting older he is started to think and process Lindsay being gone more. He had to grow up fast last year and go through a hard time that most 3 and 4 year old's don't ever go through. He is really excited about the baby coming and talks and asks questions a lot. I know that he will be so happy to have someone else around to play with.

In other news; This Wednesday we will be finally putting together the Lindsay Baskets. I have decided to have our MOPS group from church help me put them together. I am very excited to get them done and soon delivered. My friend Jodi and I got together last week and put a few samples together and let me tell you they are cute. I was going to add pictures today but I will wait until after they are all done. So check back later in the week for basket pictures. I also have gotten in contact with the social worker on 8 south and we have the go ahead to bring them to the hospital. She thought this was an awesome idea and thinks that the families will love them. We don't have a date picked yet to deliver them but I am hoping maybe next month.
Jon and I also have been thinking about Lindsay's birthday coming up in June and what to do. We found out that on her birthday Children's Hospital Boston will be having a walk to raise money for the hospital. We thought this would be an awesome thing to do and a great way to celebrate her birthday. We are hoping to have a team of people join us in Boston on June 14 to walk and celebrate. I will post more info on this in the next few weeks because we will need help raising money for this event.

I just came up with a few more things to be praying about so I will list them for you;
1. All our heart baby friends
2. That the families who will receive our baskets will be blessed and that they may find Jesus.
3. That we will be able to continue to make baskets after this first round is done.
4. Baby Groen would arrive before June 14 so I can be apart of the walk :).
5. Baby Groen to continue to grow healthy inside and for a safe and healthy delivery.

We again can't thank all of you who still continue to follow our blog. The Lord has truly blessed us these past 10 months and we Thank Him everyday for allowing us to be Lindsay's parents. Lindsay Bear, We miss you so very much and we love you even more!!!