Friday, April 3, 2009

One Year Ago Today

A year ago today Jon, Tanner, Lindsay, Mom Groen, and I were all in Boston going through Lindsay's pre-op surgery tests. I can remember that day so clear and how long of a day it was. This was also a day where Tanner met and played with another little boy named Neil. Those boys played great together and it seem to pass the time faster for Tanner. When I look back today I know that we wouldn't have thought that we wouldn't have her here with us now. But God knew even on that day while doing all those tests and running here and there that she would live with Him. I can remember coming home and dreading what Monday morning was going to bring. Then on Saturday I was sick all day and spent most of the day in bed. Then to get up Sunday morning before heading to Boston and realizing that we could be losing the baby that was growing inside. So much happened in those two days but through everything God was with us. I read something in my devotions this morning that really made me think and rejoice. This is what I read " Knowing that heaven is our real home makes it easier to pass through the tough times here on earth. Also knowing that when we get there Lindsay will be waiting for us with open arms. That makes me happy to think about because I miss her so much. I had a dream last night that she was here and that all I was doing was taking care of her. It was time to put her to bed and she was settling in like a big girl and asked me to make sure her music was on. In the dream she seemed to be bigger but all I know is that I was so happy to be with her and taking care of her again. I woke up for a minute ready to jump up and run to get her out of bed. But then I realized that it was a dream but I was happy to see her again. Maybe God let me have this dream to comfort me during these hard times.
I have thought about going back on the blog and reading what took place last year but I don't think I can right now. Julie told me this morning she did and that she had a hard time. But I encourage anyone who would like to go back and read to go ahead.

I wanted to also let you know that Jon, Tanner and I will hopefully be going to be delivering the baskets on April 14. We have everything set up with the social worker on 8 south and we are really looking forward to going. We have emailed a few of the doctors and nurses that took care of Lindsay to let them know that we are coming. We have already heard back from a few of them and they will be there on that day. I also wanted to share another thing I read in my devotions today that sort of goes along with delivering the baskets. The title of it was Joy is an action word. The scripture was John 16:24 which says "Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
It went on to say this; If we want to experience true joy, the spirit of joy that God meant for us to have, we have to do something. We have to be willing to step outside ourselves and reach out to others. It's true we can't do everything, but we can pick one cause, one charity, one family, one friend, one something that will become the object of our help and our kindness. What one thing are you willing to do? Ask God to guide you to where He most wants you to share your joy. At the end it says this; Helping others does make me feel good, Lord. Deepen my desire to reach out in a new direction to offer Your joy to others. WOW!!! Isn't that amazing to read and knowing that in a few weeks we will be helping others. Thanks Lord for giving this to me today.
May each of you who read this at some point share something with someone else and share the joy that you have in Jesus!!!