The other day I was really missing Lindsay. It all started when I changed my back round picture on our lap top. It is the picture I have at the top of this blog. I was remembering that day at my cousin Jeff's house. We were at our annual Palm Saturday get together with my side of the family. The kids had so much fun playing together and it was fun watching them. Little did any of us know that this was the last time they were all together. I can remembering leaving and everyone saying goodbye and how they would be praying and that Lindsay would be o.k. I truly believed that she would be and that this would have been a quick simple fix and that life would go back to normal. But it didn't and God wanted her in heaven more. As I was looking at the picture I couldn't get over how cute and beautiful she was. So I went upstairs and looked in the bin of clothes to find that out fit. Once I found it I put it on the bear and that's when it hit. Why do I have to dress the bear? I want to dress her, hold her, hear her giggle, see her smile, hear her say Mommy, Daddy, and I could go on. I thought I had my emotions under control and then my sister Julie called at just the right time. I answered but then couldn't speak and she knew something was bothering me. She then told Emma that Aunt Ra~Ra was sad and crying. I could hear Emma get worried and ask why was I crying. Julie told her it was because I was missing Ce~Ce (that's what Emma calls her ), she then said It o.k. Aunt Ra~Ra she will be over in a few days. Well that melted my heart and made me happy again. I guess what I am trying to say is that we still miss her so much. Some days it comes harder than others but we can rejoice that one day we will see her again.
Next month begins 2 years of this journey we are on. I hope to try and blog more and share more of my thoughts. As we look back and reflect on everything that happened we will remember the happy times, the many mini miracles she accomplished, and the many lives that she touched. I know I have said this before but if any of you want to share with us how Lindsay changed your life please do so.
As I close this, tomorrow morning we will be headed to NJ and then to MD on Saturday for our annual Palm Saturday get together. We didn't get together last year so this year will be a little hard. But I know we will be able to get through it because we will be with our family.
Thank you for all your continued prayers for our family. I will be updating Tanner and Case's blog soon on how they are doing.
I know my heart aches, so I know yours in aching much, much more. Some days I wish God would give us one more day to be together here on earth. Then God reveals what it would be like if she came back in her unperfect body to be with us just for that one day. Wow, God really smacked me on that one. How could I want her back that way. I want her back perfect and that won't happen this side of heaven. Soooo, God will take us through this too, until we see her again. I truly believe it will be soon. Thanks for sharing your heart with me and letting me hold you, Jon, Tanner and Case up to our precious Lord. Lindsay's short life has touched so many hearts and lives. She will have a giant line behind her when we get there. That makes me happy. I love you all with all my heart.
Missing you, Lindsay girl. Granny loves you.
Looking at the picture of Jon and Lindsay makes my heart melt. Oh how I'd love for the two of you to hold her in your arms just one more time. You have all been heavy on my heart. I plan to keep you and your boys in prayer daily especially through these next months...
I love You a ton!
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