Saturday, July 12, 2008

One More Day

Today has been a tough day for me as well as Jon. Some days are better than others for us. I don't know what sparked it for today but I am missing Lindsay so much. I am wanting to change her diaper and change her clothes. Jon and Tanner were working in the basement and she is supposed to be done there helping and causing trouble. Some days I just want to hold and snuggle her or hear her say Mommy and Daddy and watch her play with Tanner. This is all so hard and missing her hurts more and more each day. As I sit here and write my feelings tears stream down my face. As I said before I know that God has a reason for taking her home with him and I have to keep holding on to that. A song just came on the the ipod right now about casting all my cares upon the Lord and laying them at his feet. As more tears come from my eyes and remembering that I used to sing that to Lindsay while I held her hand. But how true that song is and that we can cast all our cares, fears, worries, at his feet. Those of you that have little ones don't take for granted all the times you have to change diapers, or clothes, or feed your little one, or hug and kiss them because if I had one more day I would do all those things and more!


Ellen said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still reading and still praying for your family. And that your story is one that inspires me to be more patient with my little ones, less picky about housework and more joyful in each stage (even the stinky diaper, messy self-feeding stage!) May God bless you richly as you continue to seek Him! - Ellen (Brian & Donna's sis-in-law in DE)

Anonymous said...

Praying for you Laura and Jon. I'm so sorry it hurts so much. I pray HE will calm and comfort your hearts. HE is near to the broken hearted. You let those tears flow whenever you need to. Somethings are just worth crying over. Oh how worth it she is!


Anonymous said...

Hey y'all, we are sending you all love and prayers from Louisiana. There is not a day that goes by that we do not think about you all. Y'all have a very special place in our heart and we will never forget y'all and your precious angel. Logan was playing with the little cat y'all gave him in Boston and I looked at Joshua and said, Lindsay gave him this. I know without a doubt that she is his gaurdian angel. Laura, I cannot imagine what you feel, but I do know that oneday you will meet her again and it will be so worth it. She will have a new heart. Please keep in touch. poret
Love The Porets

Anonymous said...

You are on my mind so often in fact I was just sitting on my deck mourning for Lindsay.....she was so precious and I didn't even know her but with a mother's heart (and granmommy's heart) I long for her. I feel the empty arms, I long for her hugs, I long for her smile, I want to her touch I don't understand why the LORD would take her from you but we do TRUST HIS WISDOM. OH THE LONGING OF THE NEW HEAVENS AND NEW EARTH WHEN WE WILL NEVER BE SEPARATED AGAIN. I love you in CHRIST
Judy Silverstein

Susan M. said...

Hi, Jon, Laura & Tanner:

When words seem so inadequate, let me just send a big cyber hug with love and prayers for you all.

We've heard Deuteronomy 31:8 so many times and yet the words still ring just as true as ever - He goes before you, He will be with you, He will not fail you. Praying for His strength and comfort for each step of the way.


Susan M.

Anonymous said...

There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think about Lindsay and her beautiful smiles and piercing blue eyes. I think her eyes smiled too. For the first time since she died I was able to make chocolate chip cranberry cookies this week without crying. It helped to drone out the sadness with music and I pretended I was singing to her. Somedays though nothing helps so I just cry. Being at DBC in the sanctuary on Sunday mornings is the toughest. I know it has to be tougher for all of you. I've started praying for all of you when I'm at church during Sunday service. We pray several times a day for all of you but church seems to be when we need God's help the most. It was there that we enjoyed her smiling and sitting on her daddy or mommy's lap with Tanner right beside you. Seeing the 4 of you sitting in church and the love you showed each other was a witness for us all. You will remain in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Susie and Steve

Anonymous said...

Oh how I wish I could take your pain but I know that our Father has already taken it. He is always there--and will never leave you as Sue quoted from Deut 8:31.

Praying for you so often. I keep the latest pic on my screen and every time I see it, I pray that you will know God's love and presence in a very special way as he walks you through the rough days and your tears.

Love, hugs & prayers

Anonymous said...

Oh Laura,

My heart is just aching for you. I so wish that I could just take away your pain. All I can offer is to bear it with you. That you can count on. As I've said before, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thinking about all of you and praying. I'm praising the Lord for His little reminders to you (the song via the iPod). Continue to cast all your care, worries, saddness on Him. He's wanting you to do that.

Praying all the time for you!

Lisa Sheldon

Anonymous said...


As I check the blog daily for updates and send a prayer out for your family. Please find comfort in all of the lives that Lindsey touched.

The Cole Family

GarretJulie said...

Though I can't feel the pain you go through each day missing Lindsay, know that I love you very much! Sometimes there are no words to share!!! I love you and I miss Lindsay very much as well! She is in my thoughts more than you know each and every day!
Love ya,

Anonymous said...

Praying for you all. Thanks for the picture!!! Faith still loves to hear about Lindsay and prays that she is having a great time in Heaven. Laura thank you also for reminding me to cherish times with the children, even on those challenging days:( I'm passed the diapers, but I am on to reading (or should I say trying to help Noah learn how to read with more fluency). Know you're in our families thoughts daily, my God hold you in his arms.
Sharon Mumma

Rebekah said...

Dear Jon and Laura,
Not a day goes by that I don't think about your family!I can't understand what you are feeling, but I love hearing your LOVE for your baby girl through your words on this blog! I can see how the Lord is working through your mind and heart as you share your life with all of us. I will continue to pray that He will bring songs and people your way to comfort you.

Anonymous said...


As I read your words, tears stream down MY face as well. I have been away from Ariel for a few days and miss her incredibly. I can't even begin to imagine what you and Jon are going through every day, every hour.

We love you all and wish we could be with you more often!

Love, Ains for the rest

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your struggles and praises with us. You have been a great example for me. I do hold my 9 month old much tighter and give her more hugs and kisses because of your testimony. You have helped me to be more grateful for each day and each experience with her. And, I take a lot more pictures, too. Thank you so much for letting us share this with you.

Anonymous said...

I check the blog regularly and think and pray for your family every day. As I read your thoughts, tears stream down my face. I think how unfair this all is, and I want to know why. I am trying to hold to the faith that God knows. Your strength and faith encourage me. Scott still talks about Lindsay and says that he misses her, even though he never got to meet her. he thinks they would have liked each other. He likes to remind me that we will all see each other in heaven some day. How precious and true. I so wish that I could do something for you and your family. Please call anytime for anything. I am just down the street, and I will always be here. My love, hugs, prayers and wishes for God's peace to suround you all.
stephanie ireland

Anonymous said...

Oh...Jon & Laura,

As I was reading your post today my body just sank in my chair...I haven't any words other than I am completely saddened and hurting inside for you both. My family thinks of your family regularly, infact Saturday I drove by your street and breifly thought "stop in". I didn't... now I wish I had, perhaps a disruption would have helped you the other day.

I don't know if I will ever understand this life changing gap God has placed in your path. As you hold the faith, I too hold the faith and remember to trust in Our Father.

Greg and I have asked, "God why...? Why Jon and Laura...? They are your faithful children and they obey your word, they live the life you ask them to live!"

Greg went away not to long ago and attended a father son weekend up north. The speaker there delivered our long awaited answer. "It is because of thier faith and their lasting love, it is because of their trust and their obediance." Greg and I now know that God chose Jon & Laura because they are amungst but only a few of His children worthy enough and strong enough.

Jon & Laura you are a living witness to His Glory & His sacrifice...Jesus Christ.

With all my love,

Anonymous said...

Your love began way before her birth, her smile was beyond description, her love for you all (even the dog) impossible to not see.
Lindsay brought a special light into a room.She was so loved, so loved and therefore so missed.
Would you have loved less had you known you would be carrying such sorrow - no, definitely no.
Every time we love we risk heartache, yet loving and its memories are worth it.
May the Holy Spirit of our loving God give to you and Jon and all His peace, His comfort and His strength for today and each today.
Thank you, Laura, for touching my heart again and again. Laurel

Anonymous said...

My sweet Laura and Jon:
My heart breaks for you. It is so hard to think of what you have to endure everyday and what you are going through. Just know that if I could I would take your pain away. All we can do is rest in the arms of Jesus and he will bear the burden.
I love you all very much and I am praying for you all.
Love, Aunt Jeanne

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your heart again & your hurt... we all wish we could take it away or ease the pain of your loss in some way... We love you lots!!!!

The other night, Joel & I were talking about heaven & for VBS we had to list 3 things we were looking forward to when we get to heaven... as we talked about it... he said, "I'll get to see Lindsay!" I smiled as tears flooded my eyes & I agreed that I couldn't wait to get there & see her too!

Still wearing our bracelets (Joel too) and praying for you all daily! We love you!
Donna for all the NJ Bits

Anonymous said...

hmm...i broke down and cried uncontrolably when i heard the country song-- one more day... a few months ago. It was so not about someone passing, but more about a relationship..but it broke me down...or at least i think thats what it was about.
I am really here for you. I know its hard. Trust me, 4 years into this, i am still not ready to deal with it...I wish i can send you a long distance hug...
my love, always

Anonymous said...

Dear Laura, Jon and Tanner - we continue to check the blog regularly and the pictures of Lindsay always make us smile!!! I honestly don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful little girl!! We pray for you all the time. Every time we go anywhere and I see families with their little ones in strollers, I am reminded of you and wonder how you ever go anywhere and not feel intense pain. I know God's mercies are new every morning and that His grace IS sufficient, it's just hard to phathom. Please know how much we truly care. We'll be at Keswick in just a few days and look forward to hugging your mom and dad!!

Always in our thoughts and prayers -

The Gibsons in CT

Anonymous said...

Thinking you....

With love, The Bowies

Anonymous said...

Lara and Jon, I just want to tell you that you are trully in my prayers every single day. I know that seems strange b/c you hardly know me. But everyday I pray that His everlasting arms would continue to hold you up and in. That he would show you comfort as you've never known. Please know that as the days pass, you are still thought of and loved!
-Amanda Kane (the nurse in KC)