Last night Tanner and I rode along to Boston with Grandpa and Grandma. Uncle Arlin and Aunt Linda were supposed to fly into Boston around 7:50 but didn't come in until 1o:30. Anyway, we went along to make a special trip back to Boston Children's Hospital to deliver some gift bags to five special nurses. I was given a whole bunch of lotions and facial stuff to give to them. Tanner and I also added dumb-dums and chocolate. Tanner would hand out dumb-dums to the nurses all the time while we were there. I have been back once since Lindsay went home but Tanner hadn't been back. He was very excited to get there and see what had changed. I was nervous going up the elevator to the 8 floor. Tanner of course got in and said 8th floor right Mommy. We were able to see Joanna, Melissa, Dr. Sarah, and Frank. It was wonderful to see them and to see there faces light up when we handed them there gift bag. It also felt strange not rushing back to bed space 9 to see what was happening. I almost felt lost just standing there and not going back. After we visited for awhile Tanner needed to get to the playroom. You should have heard him all excited about all the new toys that were there. We had some dinner in the cafeteria and then went to eat in the garden. Tanner was thrilled to see the fountains, flowers, and even the playground again. He even got to see the helicopter land and take off. It was a joy for me to watch him be so happy and excited to be back there. Maybe it was healing to him going back.
There is not a day, hour, minute, or second that does not go by that Lindsay is not on my mind. Even starting yesterday out and the tears that came for her. I sat and wondered what her hair would have looked like, listening to her talk even more, seeing her smile and I could go on. I hope sometime God would give me just a glimpse as to what she is doing up there in heaven. Going back to Boston where we spent so much time there and giving back something to the nurses felt so good. I wish I could have brought something for all of them but for those I did I felt joy. Joanna also had mentioned that she had gotten a card from someone and to see her light up talking about getting a card was neat. Please if you feel led to keep sending them cards to just let them know you are praying for them or thanking them please keep doing it. Lindsay's story is still being written and she is still touching people's lives. Lindsay Bear, Mommy loves you and misses you so much!
I remember those days Laura. My nephew was just taken to CHOP this week, for surgery (minor) and i just couldnt bring myself back to see him. I went to the hospital to be with a friend, who we became close with in the CICU, when Colin was there, about 6 months after Colin died. It was heartbreaking to push that floor 6 button, and get off the elevator-- yes awful. The fears, hopes and love all comes flooding back. Owen still remembers the CICU...even though he was only 18 months old. He remembers it well. We had alot of happy times there (3 months) as well as the sad. The emotions of that day and time all come flooding back when we even drive past CHOP.
Hang in there. I am here for you. YOu are a strong mom, and Lindsay is very proud of you. I know it..
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