Wednesday, May 16, 2012

4 Years In Heaven

Playing pots and pan drums with Tanner.
4 years ago today Lindsay Alice Groen closed her eyes here on earth and opened them in heaven. I can't even imagine what she saw when she opened her eyes. I am sure she was in the arms of Jesus who held her for a long time. I wonder if our family members who have gone before us were there as well. I can only imagine the reunion they had as they welcomed her home. I can just picture all the little kids surrounding her and welcoming her. I can imagine her walking the streets of gold holding hands with Jesus as he shows her all around. I can imagine her running and playing with her new heart and having no more pain. I can imagine her sitting with our grandparents playing and them spoiling her. I can only imagine what 4 years have been like for her. 
But I know what 4 years without her have been like. Missing her so bad that it hurts, wishing for just one more day or one more hour with her. Seeing her big smile and those big blue eyes. Holding her one more time and getting a bear hug. Imagining her playing with her brothers and sister. Watching her grow, play, and learning all new things. Being the big sister and playing with dolls and dirt. We have missed so much in the last 4 years but we can rejoice knowing that one day we won't have to miss anything else with her. We will be with her forever and ever. Not a day goes by that we don't think of her, miss her, long for her, and talk about her. She is always on our mind and never far from our hearts.

Lindsay Bear, 
Daddy, Mommy, Tanner, Case, Wyatt, Sydney miss you so much. We wish you were still here to be with us. But we know you are always with us every day. We are so proud of you and how strong you were during your stay in the hospital. You spoke to so many people and changed lives. Some we won't know about until we join you in heaven. Your story is still being told and is still being written. When Tanner and I pray at night before bed the last thing we pray is that God will tell Lindsay how much we love and miss her and to give her lots of hugs and kisses. We have now prayed this prayer for 4 years. We love you Lindsay.

To all of you who have stood with us during these past 4 years we thank you. Thanks for the prayers, the support, and encouraging words you have shared.

 To our families, thanks for standing by us through the hard times, the happy times and for just being there when we needed you the most. We love you all tons.

 To all of her doctors, nurses, THANK YOU again for all you did for Lindsay. Thank you for your care for her and for us. We will be forever great full for all you did for her. We love you all.

Thank you Lord for Lindsay's life and for allowing us to be her parents. Thanks for never leaving our sides and always holding us up when we couldn't. Please tell her how much we love her and miss her. Hug her extra tight for us today. 


Anonymous said...

We miss her bunches too! You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Laura, you are an amazing Mom and woman. You are so strong, and I find your honesty (on your posts) and trust in God through this truly inspiring. Love, des

Phoebe said...

Lindsay is so beautiful, Laura...and I know she is only more beautiful and her personality more precious and pure in heaven. I miss her sweet little face and big smile. Wish I could see the little girls all play together. Thank you for sharing your journey with us--you've been so inspiring!

Rachel's Mama said...

This post has be crying for you. I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye, but as I read your description of heaven, I felt hope. Thank you. 4 years must feel like yesterday and forever at the same time. love you.

Tia Kerwin said...

Dear Jon & Laura,

I'm so glad Laura's mom posted this link to Lindsay's Blog. It is ALWAYS such an amazing experience to spend time here. From tears to being greatly encouraged. . . God continues to minister through Lindsay's precious life and legacy.

While I may not see you guys, I pray for you often. . . I just read a devotional that Laura posted today, 12/13/12. Amazing how much that ministered to my hurting heart. . . Thanks so much for posting such honesty over your battles. There's nothing "silly" about battles that involve our heart. I'm so thankful that God ministered to yours today and then you ministered to mine posting what you wrote and read.

In His sovereignty, God has placed me in a support group for bereaved parents called "HUGS". . . I know strange! Not a group any sane parent would ever want to be part of for obvious reasons. . but God put me there all the same. Amazing how He uses the most broken people I've ever met/known to minister so much comfort to my own broken heart. Of course my situation is very different than all of theirs and yours. My child, my son is alive but sadly on a determined path of self destruction. It's hard to believe but once again, we don't know where or how he is. . . it's a never ending journey in pain for us, but we continue to give him to God. We had such great hopes of him going to America's Keswick and also for the holidays, but he has chosen to run once again. This is the 7th Christmas without him.

But we still believe God and also believe that He did not go to so much trouble to save a 19 month old baby boy and bring him to us just in time to save his very life, for that life to be forever lost. So we continue to give him to God and pray for his salvation.

The reason I mentioned the group is because it has been through "HUGS," Healing Under God's Sovereignty," that I have gained some understanding of the heartbreak of losing a child. I say "some" b/c only those who have lived it can truly understand such unthinkable loss and sorrow. But God has given me these dear ones to love me and comfort me when all else fled from us. But He has also used this ministry to remind me to pray for you & Jon more and more all the time. I'm seeing in the lives of others how the pain is never ending in this life for them. But am so thankful that one day God will wipe away every single tear ever shed by His beloved ones. I can't wait to see every parent and child restored to one another on that glorious day in Heaven!

The playground for Lindsay Bear looks beautiful. Oh how I wish I'd known about it, I'd love to have seen you all. Her precious life still is ministering God's grace in countless ways. You are always in my prayers. I love praying for you all and also your dear Aunt Jeanne and her fight against cancer. Our God is good. Praying that His love, mercy, and grace overflows in your hearts always.

Much love and hugs to you, Jon and all your beautiful children. . I just know that Lindsay Bear is enjoying the most wonderful Christmas season in Heaven with her Lord Jesus face to face! What Joy!!! xoxoxo Tia <3