The last few days in my devotions, God has been taking me to Psalm 139. Lately on my mind has been why this happened, and what signs did I miss and should have caught. But then after reading Pslam 139 I am reminded that God knew before Lindsay was even concieved He knew the plan he had for her. One verse that struck me was verse 15-16 it says, My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Wow and so amazing to me. I know that this doesn't take away the pain of her not being here with us but in some small way it helps.
Yesterday a very special friend to our family went home to be with Jesus. Pastor Bill entered heaven's gates and was welcomed in by Jesus. As I was thinking about this today I am hoping that a blonde haired little girl with her Daddy's blue eyes and a smile that could light up a room, went to greet him and give him a great big hug. My friend Melissa also commented on her face book the same exact thing about her little girl. One day we will all enter those gates and I can't wait to see my Lindsay Bear running to welcome us. Please pray for the Raws family as they mourn the loss of a husband, dad, grandfather, and friend. Also keep praying for Mr. Steve. He is doing better but is still very sick. Please keep praying for my Dad as he goes through losing another friend and mentor. Dad and Mom were with Pastor Bill and the family yesterday when he went home. I know that was very hard for both of them to do. I love you Daddy and Mom!!!
36 comments:
Wow, Laura, you are amazing. How the Lord ministers to you and then to me is wonderful. I can picture Lindsay Bear, Christopher (Pastor Bill's baby son), Sydney McFeaters and Colin Sanders all standing at the gates peering through as Pastor Bill was welcomed in by Jesus. Makes my heart happy for them during a sad time here for us. Psalm 139 was read at Pastor Bill's bedside yesterday. How fitting. I love you and miss Lindsay so much.
Love,
mom/Granny
That is one of my favorite pictures of Lindsay. I was just telling Jenny this weekend about that picture. I look forward to the day I get to see Lindsay again!! As you know, last week I was watching Lindsay's slideshow. I know just how much I miss her, I can't even begin to understand how much you miss her! But knowing where she is and that I will one day see her again puts a smile on my face. Thank you for being such a great mom and encouraging me as a mom.
I love you, Julie
It was so cool to hear Mrs. Raws tell Pastor Bill to look for Lindsay when he got to heaven. How jealous we all are of what he is now experiencing -- Jesus and Lindsay! Amazing. Thanks for praying. I love you all.
Thank you for sharing Psalm 139 with us. I literally felt a load lift from my shoulders when I read it and remembered I don't have to bear the pressure of being in control...that I don't have to beat myself up with all kinds of "what ifs." I am in awe of how God reveals Himself to us when we need Him. Pastor Bill's family will be in our prayers, as will Mr. Steve. We are continuing to pray for your family constantly. May God bless you for your faithfulness.
Love,
Abbie Hackett
Laura,
Your posts always amaze me. God is so good...and...you show it to us all the time. How fitting and appropriate for the Lord to bring those verses to your attention in such a way to give you some more comfort. That's what I pray for you on a daily basis...comfort and peace (and strength!).
I'm praying for all of you! Especially your Dad and Mom during this difficult time of Pastor Bill's going home.
Love,
Lisa Sheldon
Laura, I continue to be in awe of how mature you are at such a young age!
The Lord continues to bless me and I am sure others through the sharing of your thoughts and feelings and tears and smiles....and pictures.
Just as I continue to pray for you and Jon and Tanner and now the Raws family, you can be sure that your Mom and Dad are being prayed for many times every day. They truly are precious people.
God bless.
Love, hugs & prayers,
Miriam
What a cute picture! I wasn't going to post tonight, but somehow I must have clicked on Lindsay's picture without realizing it. All of a sudden, Lindsay's face (covered in soap bubbles) took up my whole screen! I was like, "Wow, how did that happen?" (Duh....)
Psalm 139 is an awesome psalm. It has been one of my favorites for quite a while. I like the verses you quoted about how He wove us together before we were born and numbered our days. In addition to those verses, I really like the ones earlier in the chapter.
He knows us, He understands us, and no matter where we go or what happens in our lives, He is right there with us. I like the second part of verse 10 in the NIV:
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
He not only guides us, but He holds us fast. He's our anchor in the storms of life.
Laura, thanks again for sharing with us. I pray the Lord will continue to hold you fast during these difficult days. I pray He will continue to use you, Jon, and Tanner to be a blessing and an encouragement to many, many people... as you have been already.
With love and prayers,
Susan
PS to Granny Apple - I like your avatar - "Granny Apple's Cuties." They are a cute bunch! :-)
It's way past bedtime, but I just got an e-mail from my oldest sister, Ann. She made a comment about Pastor Bill and then she wrote,
"My second thought was that he is with Lindsay now. While he wasn't her biological grandfather, knowing the Keswick family, I'm sure that he was grandpa to more than just his own grandkids. I know he'll be looking after her."
Thought I'd share that with you before I head off to bed.
Dear Laura and Jon,
I love Psalm 139, too. It was such a comfort to me when Jimmy, Ethan, and Nathan died.
I know there was a huge gathering to welcome Pastor Bill home. I'm certain my boys were there along with your Lindsay. I have also been thinking that Pastor Bill would get to see his grandfather. What a reunion.
I am so blessed by your posts. Thanks for sharing your grief and your thoughts with all of us.
In His mercy.
Marilyn
That picture is SO cute! I clicked on and got it full screen and saw all those bubbles with the blue eyes!! I think I kind of look like that minus the blue eyes--when I am making cards and using glitter--instead of bubbles, I have glitter all over my face +! :)
Thanks for sharing that.
Love, hugs 8 prayers,
Miriam
Dear Laura,Jon and Tanner...nothing can ever take that beautiful child's place, but I am so moved by God's ever presence in your lives...He will sustain you all...I spoke with my daughter yesterday about those who don't have this hope to hold onto...what an empty feeling this must be...I pray for all of you daily and anytime God brings you to mind...I know He hears...may God continue to give you peace beyond understanding...In Christ, Melanie Vara (Whiting Bible)
Laura I stand in awe of you and how God shines through, in your words. I never had a sister that I grew up with, but Julie is blessed to have a big sister who loves the Lord even during the difficult times. Thank you for the testimony you show through your healing process. Thanks again for the picture, those blue eyes!!!!! WOW!!!!!! I too thought of Pastor Bill and Linsday in a giant "BEAR HUG" and I bet he said I'm so happy to see you and here is a hug from alot of people who miss you;)
Tahnj you for share you,
Sharon Mumma
SORRY:::::LAST LINE
Thank you for sharing you.
Dear Laura:
Everytime I read your entries I too am more amazed and so very proud of you. As your mom said, when the Lord ministers to you, you then in turn minister to me. Thank you for just being you.
I love you very much.
Aunt Jeanne
GM Laura, I woke up this morning thinking about you, and the family. What a blessing to read the blog today. Thank you so much for sharing and finding comfort in God's word.
Norma Jeffries
Dear Laura...I was at Pastor Bill's service today and finally met your Dad...I told him that I am so blown away by your family's witness during all these hard times...I see the Lord working through all of you...I wish I had all the right words that could fix things, but I was speaking to someone today and realized that the thing that gets us through is the hope and belief that we share in an eternity with the blessed Lord...if we loose sight of that we like the world have nothing...I see that hope and belief in you and your family...I look forward to the day when I can see your angel and tell her I met her Grandad and have been in touch with her Mom,Dad and brother...I will continue to pray for your familyand look toward the day we can all be together...Romans 12:12 is one of my favorite verses and I love to sahre that because it covers it all...God bless always, Melanie Vara (Whiting Bible Church)
I thought of the song I CAn Only Imagine by Mercy Me this morning as I was trying to prepare for the day. I could only imagine Lindsay smiling up to Jesus and he smiling back to her. Lindsaybear, we'll miss you today at church as we have for the past two months. But I'll think of you in Heaven as you smile at God and he smiles back. Pastor Bill, I pray you give Lindsay lots of hugs for all of us.
To the Welte and Groen families you continue to be in our prayers. May you see God's blessings in your Sabbath and know that you are so very much loved by so many.
Susie and Steve
Good Morning, Sorry I've not "written" to you lately, but you have most certainly been in my thoughts and prayers. George & I were privileged to be at Pastor Bill's "celebration" service on Friday and what a HUGE blessing it was. Yes, great sorrow, but even greater praise to our living, loving Lord for His great mercy and grace to welcome Pastor Bill home, and give comfort to his family and loved ones. The tributes were amazing.
Laura, I have been praying much for your Dad, as he has had so much to deal with these past weeks. Your Dad is an amazing man, & I have the greatest respect and love for him and your dear Mom as they continue in the ministry of Keswick. I will be there for August Senior's Week..hard to believe this Friday is 8/1 !!
Your thoughts on Psalm 139 were such a blessing to me. Isn't His Word so precious. It seems every time we open it, there is much to teach, comfort, encourage, and bless us. I know your sorrow is still, and will continue to be, very great, but " 'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus"..Keeping you, Jon, and dear Tanner close to my heart. I pray the Lord will give you a very, very special blessing this day..Diane Nichols
Laura, Jon, Tanner,
May God continue to hold you in the palm of His hand, and give you your daily dose of grace- your "daily bread". Stay strong in the Lord, so that Satan cannot get a foothold.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, grief, and wisdom with us, the "Lindsay fan club"! The pictures are wonderful. What a beautiful child!
Still praying for you all.
Mary Conway
Hi, John, Laura, & Tanner:
Just a quick note to let you know you've been on my mind this morning. Praying for all of you!!
Love,
Susan
Psalm 55:22
(Sorry, Jon...just realized I spelled your name wrong this morning.)
Praying for you!
sm
Dear Laura, Jon & Tanner,
All of you were so heavy on my heart this morning. I wanted to be sure to tell you that I'm thinking of you and praying for you guys all the time.
Love,
Lisa Sheldon
Hi,
Sorry I've been among the missing but was having problems with my computer!! Can't live with them and can't live without them!! :)
Just wanted you to know that i have been praying for you. I trust that God is giving you comfort and healing your pain and giving you HUGS when you need them.
God bless you.
Love, hugs & prayers,
Miriam
I just found Lindsay's blog today...what an inspiration your family is to me! My daughter, Annabelle, earned her wings at 8 weeks and 3 days of earthly life on March 27th. She was born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. I just love looking at Lindsay's pictures and seeing those beautiful blue eyes! Your family will be in our prayers...as we know the journey is long and our hearts are longing for our girls...our eyes are pointed toward heaven!
Blessings~ Rebecca
www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com
Dear Laura, Jon, and Tanner;
I just wanted you to know we continue to think and talk about Lindsay every day, and every day we are blessed by her life.
With love and constant prayer,
Abbie Hackett
Dear Friends,
You have been on my mind and in my prayers so much this week. I find myself drifting into thought about each of you so much. I'm praying for all of you.
Love,
Lisa Sheldon
On my calendar I have a bunch of pictures of Lindsay. It hangs on the side on my fridge next to my sink. I find myself always looking at her and she is just smiling back at me. Most of the time I am there I just smile back at her. This morning however, I found myself missing her and being sad for you guys! I love her very much!! I think about her often! I plan to just keep that calendar for Lindsay. Each month changing the picture so that she is always there looking at me with those big blue eyes. I know you guys miss her very much, but know that I do as well and love you all lots. Can't wait to see you this weekend.
Love ya,
~Julie
Lindsay~ we miss you. I know Emma will miss you much this weekend. I wish you could come to Granny and Pops too and play with Emma and Ethan! I love you very much Lindsay Girl!
Have been praying for you. Really was hoping you guys could visit your folks and there is the note from Julie! Yeah!!
Trust you will have a great time together--I know a Grandpa and Grandma who are going to be extremely happy!! :)
Pray you have a safe trip down-crazy drivers down here!!
Praying God continues to walk step by step with you each day and that you not only find peace and comfort in that but His JOY!
Love, Hugs & prayers
Miriam
Laura,
Just want you to know that I'm praying for you this morning. I awoke and you were one of the first thoughts on my mind. I'm praying that you are doing well. I'm also praying for Jon, Tanner and your entire family.
Over this week, I have been reminded of just how much God loves and cares for us. I know we serve a huge God...and...I know that He will always give us exactly what we need, when we need it. I know that He loves us and has our best interest at heart. Hold onto these truths, Laura. Know that you are a loved and cared for by the Creator of the Universe...and by those whom He has put in your life to share this journey with.
With much love,
Lisa
Dear Jon & Laura,
Every time I hear the song Cinderella (Steven Curtis Chapman) , I think of Jon especially. Even though I never knew Lindsay or you, I know you took every oppurtunity you had to love her and hold her even before her health problems surfaced. The song goes on about a father who takes every chance he gets to "dance with Cinderella" with his daughter because he knew something the prince never knew - that one day she'd be gone. In the song she ends up married, instead of going to heaven with Jesus, but still... I think of you and mourn for and with you, and wonder if you can even listen to the whole song. That song is a regular on the local christian music station here.
May God bless you all, giving comfort and peace as needed.
A friend.
======
Two different versions by Mr Chapman on youtube -- I hope you don't mind.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfxL0S-7yVo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B1XM9jWiLI
Cinderella lyrics by Steven Curtis Chapman:
She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders
It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you
There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...
She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
She will be gone
Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
Crazy drivers in NJ on your way to Keswick -- can't happen. wink, wink. Do be careful.
Dear Laura,Jon and Tanner and the Weltes...I continue to pray and think of you all often....God bless, Melanie Vara (Whiting Bible)
Laura,
Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you today. I'm praying for you.
Love,
Lisa
Dear Laura,Jon and Tanner...the Lord brought you all to mind today...I continue to pray...your Mom, Jan has been sending words of encouragement to my daughter Lisa as she and her family are in California to minister to Scott's Dad...I am so greatful to be a member of this wonderful family of God...may God continue to bring you comfort and realize you will be in our hearts forever...God bless, Melanie Vara
Laura,your faith is amazing. How is Tanner doing? There isn't a day that goes by that y'all are not in our thoughts and prayers. We head up to Boston on Wednesday for a heart cath on Friday. Many memories it will bring back. You truly have a purpose to spread God's word and I feel his presence when I read your entries. I know without a doubt that your baby girl will greet us all one day and what a joyous day it will be. Until then, I know she is watching over Logan. Please e-mail me your address, so I can send you pictures of Logan. Hugs and Kisses,
Kayla Poret
Laura, Jon and entire family,
I just wanted to let you know how much you all have been on my mind and heart over the last 2-3 days. I'm out in CA now with my family. My husband's father is ill...and...we're taking care of things here and trying to get him transferred to NJ to be with us. Your mom (Jan) and sister (Julie) have been keeping up on our blog.
The real reason for this post is to let you know that your family has taught me so much about trusting in the Lord, especially during trials. We've been experiencing some major ups and downs this week...but through it all (as I learned from watching you guys) we are trusting and leaning on the Lord. We're sharing what God is doing for us with everyone we come in contact with. Some one said something to me the other day about "luck"...I said it's not about "luck" it's about being "BLESSED"!!
I want you to know how much I admire your family and how much God has used each and every one of you to bless my heart and show me how to stand strong under trials. Lamentations 3:22-26 has been running through my mind today. I pray that it encourages you as it has me today.
God bless you all! I'm so honored to share this journey with you, and feel as though I've know you all forever! That's the love of the Lord! Know you're in my heart and prayers constantly.
Love,
Lisa
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