Lately doing girly things with Sydney has been so much fun. I sadly forgot how fun girls can be and what they love. By doing all these things with Sydney it has made me sad to think of all that I have missed with Lindsay. I wonder what she would have liked or been into now, what her favorite color would have been, how long her hair would be, would she still like playing with babies. Maybe she hasn't missed anything and has all these fun things in heaven. One can only wonder what her days are like in heaven. I am sure by far the best thing would be sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to him speak. Oh if only there were little windows in heaven for just a little glimpse.
Sydney has been into Minnie and Mickey Mouse big time lately. She has many Minnie's and she loves them all. She also likes playing babies and loves to have them wrapped up in blankets and being a little Mommy to them. She likes to wear pretty dresses and pretty things in her hair (when she keeps them in). You will often hear her say to Jon and the boys look at my pretties. She loves to wear things on her head like her sister used to. You will often find her wearing one of Daddy's hats or underwear (which is always clean). She has started lately to talk a lot which has been so much fun and often very funny. She melts my heart every time she looks at me with her big blue eyes. Oh, and I love to dress her up in cute clothes to. I think she is going to like princess stuff to. I have just recently introduced her to the Cinderella movie. She told me the other day that she was the princess. She will often run to the boys when they are hurt or crying and ask them in this soft little voice if they are ok. I love her!!! And I miss my Lindsay Bear!!
Here are some of the things I have been enjoying;
This was some of her Minnie Christmas gifts.
Her hair is long enough in the back for piggies.
Today we put her Minnie tatoos she got in her stocking. She loves them.
Being so very cute in Daddy's hat.
Notice all her bags :)
Yes that is under wear on her head.
Dressed really cute. I will admit that we often text Aunt Julie pictures of her outfits to make sure they look cute or go together.
If this doesn't melt your heart. My girls :)
Sorry for all the pictures but they she is so cute. My phone is over loaded with pictures and videos of her. I will try and share some videos of her next time because they are so cute.
I meant to post this around Christmas time but forgot about it. These were my thoughts at that time and my emotions were running very high.
Yesterday we opened gifts with the kids since we won't be home for Christmas. We were able to have my parents on Skype so they could watch. Christmas this year is all new again for Sydney and she loved opening all her gifts while sitting on Daddy's lap. She got excited about each and every gift she opened. After we were done I stood and watched her walk around proudly wearing her new Minnie mouse boots, and shirt on. She looked so cute and was thrilled with what she was wearing. All of the sudden it hit me how much we have missed each year with Lindsay. I will admit that I broke down in uncontrollable tears for a while. Grieving for her from the depths of my soul and longing for her. I know that we have missed her so much but I am sure that she hasn't missed a thing that we are doing. She has the best seat in the house and I am sure she was proudly smiling down on us and her brothers and sister. It has been so much fun to have a girl in the house again and watch all the cute things she does, says, and how she acts with her brothers. I had to call my Mom through my sobs and just thank her for giving Sydney all the girly stuff.
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday and it makes me think of Christmas's past and all the family we always had around.Some of those family member have passed away and get to spend Christmas in a way that one day we will all to. I know I can't wait to be with Lindsay, Mema, Pop~ Pop Welte, Nanny, Bebe, Richie, Grandpa and Grandma Groen, Grandpa and Grandma Burgers, Mr, Steve, Van, and my list can go on and on. I can only imagine the feast that they would have with Mema's fruit cup, Nan's stuffing, and all the other fixing we would have. I wrote this before Christmas but thought I needed to add it to this post since it goes along with what I wrote above.
I thought this video would work but it won't. I can't figure out how to delete it. Sorry
One of my favorite songs lately is called Where I Belong by Building 429. One of the lines in the song says; All I know is i'm not home yet, this is where I belong, take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong. How true is that to those of us who know that heaven is truly our home. We are only just passing through and one day we will be home. Home with all those who have gone before us and who we miss dearly. One day that pain of missing them won't be there anymore and instead we will be holding our loved ones. What reunion that will be.
One of my goals for this new year is to blog more on here. Writing my thoughts and maybe helping others who are in this same boat we are in. Some of you may have already heard this story but I feel that I need to write it hear to one day look back on. We spent Christmas in TN with Jon's family in a big house. We had lots of fun all week long but we were looking forward to being back home. Our drive from TN to home was about 16 hours. We left on Saturday morning and headed for Peoria, IL where we would be staying over night. The first 8 hours went well but we were all ready to be out of the fox (our suburban) and have more space. The next morning we slept in and kind of were taking out time heading out. We had thought about taking the kids to the zoo on the way home but as we went outside we realized that it was very cold, rainy, and icy. So we packed everyone back in the fox and started to head for the highway. As we were going down the road we witnessed a very bad accident due to the icy roads. I have never in my life saw anything like we were seeing right in front of us. Jon had me call 911 right away and we immediately pulled over to see if we could help. 5 people we in a truck and 3 of them got ejected from the truck. None of them were wearing their seat belts. Jon got out right away and tried to help as best he could. 2 people were down a hill and one person was on the other side of the guard rail. Sadly one of them went to her heavenly home. The other two were ok but needed help. After we were able to leave we decided not to go home and risk another accident ourselves so instead we went back to the hotel and spent the night. We learned later that night that the girl who passed away was 16 year old Brooklyn Armstrong.
My heart broke for this family in so many ways. I hurt for them in a way that I know how this all feels. That night in the hotel room I felt God tugging at my heart to somehow try and reach this family just to let them know that we were there and that we were praying for them. I was able to do that by looking up Brooklyn's name and found a blog that her pastor had wrote. When I read that she was saved that made my heart a little happier because I knew that she truly was home and that one day I would be able to meet her in person. Last week I was able to talk to Brooklyn's mom over the phone which only God could have done. She had lots of questions about the accident and what we saw. Her heart is hurting and she just wanted to process this whole tragedy as best she could. She was very thankful that we reached out to them. The one comment she made that really struck me was; she said the only thing that had gotten her though the funeral was what I had wrote on that pastor's blog. WOW How do you respond to that other than to say that God must have wanted us there at that time on December 29.
She shared about Brooklyn and what she was like, how good of a kid she was, what she liked. I am so glad that I got to in some small way help her and her family through this time. I have talked to her a few times since this first call. She also asked all about Lindsay and what her story was. She said that Brooklyn loved kids and she was sure that Lindsay and Brooklyn have already met. Even though our stories are different they are still the same. Lindsay's story still continues to help people through hard times like these. One more thing struck me about Brooklyn that happened a week or so before this accident. She had told someone that she had a personal relationship with Christ, and she wanted to work on her relationship with God. Who knew other than God that she would be truly doing that now.
So I ask you how is your relationship with God? Do you need to work on getting to know him better? I know this challenged me to spend more time in God's word. It's not to late to start working on this and to work on your home being in heaven.
I know this is a really long post but it's one that I have been thinking about for days. Please pray for Brooklyn's family. Pray for healing of their hearts, pray for peace and comfort that only God can give them at this time. I am praying that I will be able to still keep in contact with her.
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